“Here lieth he, he lieth here,
That bounced and pity cried: 20
The door not oped, fell sick, alas,
Alas, fell sick and died!”
What Myrmidon, or hard Dolopian,
What savage-minded rude Cyclopian,
But such a sweet pathetic Paphian
Would force to laughter? Ho, Amphitrion,
Thou art no cuckold. What, though Jove dallièd,
During thy wars, in fair Alcmena’s bed,
Yet Hercules, true born, that imbecility
Of corrupt nature, all apparently 30
Appears in him. O foul indignity!
I heard him vow himself a slave to Omphale,
Puling “Aye me!” O valour’s obloquy!
He that the inmost nooks of hell did know,
Whose ne’er-crazed[546] prowess all did overthrow,
Lies streaking[547] brawny limbs in weak’ning bed;
Perfumed, smooth-kemb’d, new glazed, fair surphulèd.
O that the boundless power of the soul
Should be subjected to such base control!
Big-limb’d Alcides, doff thy honour’s crown, 40
Go spin, huge slave, lest Omphale should frown.
By my best hopes, I blush with grief and shame
To broach the peasant baseness of our name.
O, now my ruder hand begins to quake,
To think what lofty cedars I must shake;
But if the canker fret, the barks of oaks,
Like humbler shrubs, shall equal bear the strokes
Of my respectless rude satiric hand.
Unless the Destin’s adamantine band
Should tie my teeth, I cannot choose, but bite, 50
To view Mavortius metamorphos’d quite,
To puling sighs, and into “Aye me’s” state,
With voice distinct, all fine articulate,
Lisping, “Fair saint, my woe compassionate;
By heaven! thine eye is my soul-guiding fate.”
The god of wounds had wont on Cyprian couch
To streak himself, and with incensing touch
To faint his force, only when wrath had end;
But now, ’mong furious garboils,[548] he doth spend
His feebled valour, in tilt and tourneying, 60
With wet turn’d kisses, melting dallying.
A pox upon’t that Bacchis’[549] name should be
The watchword given to the soldiery!
Go, troop to field, mount thy obscurèd fame,
Cry out St. George, invoke thy mistress’ name;
Thy mistress and St. George, alarum cry!
Weak force, weak aid, that sprouts from luxury!
Thou tedious[550] workmanship of lust-stung Jove,
Down from thy skies, enjoy our females’ love:
Some fifty more Beotian girls will sue 70
To have thy love, so that thy back be true.
O, now me thinks I hear swart Martius cry,
Swooping[551] along in wars’ feign’d maskery;
By Lais’ starry front he’ll forthwith dye
In clutter’d[552] blood, his mistress’ livery;
Her fancy’s colours waves upon his head.
O, well-fenced Albion, mainly manly sped,
When those that are soldadoes[553] in thy state
Do bear the badge of base, effeminate,
Even on their plumy crests; brutes sensual, 80
Having no spark of intellectual!
Alack! what hope, when some rank nasty wench
Is subject of their vows and confidence?
Publius hates vainly to idolatrise[554]
And laughs that Papists honour images;
And yet (O madness!) these mine eyes did see
Him melt in moving plaints, obsequiously
Imploring favour; twining his kind arms,
Using enchantments, exorcisms, charms;
The oil of sonnets, wanton blandishment, 90
The force of tears, and seeming languishment,
Unto the picture of a painted lass!
I saw him court his mistress’ looking-glass,
Worship a busk-point, which, in secresy,
I fear was conscious of strange villainy;
I saw him crouch, devote his livelihood,
Swear, protest, vow peasant servitude
Unto a painted puppet; to her eyes
I heard him swear his sighs to sacrifice.
But if he get her itch-allaying pin, 100
O sacred relic! straight he must begin
To rave outright,—then thus: “Celestial bliss,
Can Heaven grant so rich a grace as this?
Touch it not (by the Lord! sir), ’tis divine!
It once beheld her radiant eye’s bright shine!
Her hair embraced it. O thrice-happy prick,
That there was throned, and in her hair didst stick!”
Kiss, bless, adore it, Publius, never lin;
Some sacred virtue lurketh in the pin.
O frantic, fond, pathetic passion! 110
Is’t possible such sensual action
Should clip the wings of contemplation?
O can it be the spirit’s function,
The soul, not subject to dimension,
Should be made slave to reprehension
Of crafty nature’s paint? Fie! can our soul
Be underling to such a vile control?
Saturio wish’d himself his mistress’ busk,
That he might sweetly lie, and softly lusk[555]
Between her paps; then must he have an eye 120
At either end, that freely might descry
Both hills and dales. But, out on Phrigio,
That wish’d he were his mistress’ dog, to go
And lick her milk-white fist! O pretty grace!
That pretty Phrigio begs but Pretty’s place.
Parthenophil,[556] thy wish I will omit,
So beastly ’tis I may not utter it.
But Punicus, of all I’ll bear with thee,
That fain wouldst be thy mistress’ smug monkey.
Here’s one would be a flea[557] (jest comical!); 130
Another, his sweet lady’s verdingal,
To clip her tender breech; another, he
Her silver-handled fan would gladly be;
Here’s one would be his mistress’ necklace, fain
To clip her fair, and kiss her azure vein.
Fond fools, well wish’d, and pity but [’t] should be;
For beastly shape to brutish souls agree.
If Laura’s painted lip do deign a kiss
To her enamour’d slave, “O Heaven’s bliss!”
(Straight he exclaims) “not to be match’d with this!”
Blaspheming dolt! go threescore sonnets write 141
Upon a picture’s kiss, O raving sprite!
I am not sapless, old, or rheumatic,
No Hipponax, misshapen stigmatic,[558]
That I should thus inveigh ’gainst amorous sprite
Of him whose soul doth turn hermaphrodite;
But I do sadly grieve, and inly vex,
To view the base dishonour of our sex.
Tush! guiltless doves, when gods, to force foul rapes,
Will turn themselves to any brutish shapes; 150
Base bastard powers, whom the world doth see
Transform’d to swine for sensual luxury!
The son of Saturn is become a bull,
To crop the beauties of some female trull.
Now, when he hath his first wife Metis[559] sped,
And fairly choked,[560] lest foul[561] gods should be bred
Of that fond mule; Themis, his second wife,
Hath turn’d away, that his unbridled life
Might have more scope; yet, last, his sister’s love
Must satiate the lustful thoughts of Jove. 160
Now doth the lecher in a cuckold’s shape,
Commit a monstrous and incestuous rape.
Thrice sacred gods! and O thrice blessèd skies,
Whose orbs include such virtuous deities!
What should I say? Lust hath confounded all;
The bright gloss of our intellectual
Is foully soil’d. The wanton wallowing
In fond delights, and amorous dallying,
Hath dusk’d the fairest splendour of our soul;
Nothing now left but carcass, loathsome, foul; 170
For sure, if that some sprite remainèd still,
Could it be subject to lewd Lais’ will?
Reason, by prudence in her function,
Had wont to tutor all our action,
Aiding, with precepts of philosophy,
Our feeblèd natures’ imbecility;
But now affection, will, concupiscence,
Have got o’er reason chief pre-eminence.
’Tis so; else how should such vile baseness taint
As force it be made slave to nature’s paint? 180
Methinks the spirit’s Pegase, Fantasy,
Should hoise the soul from such base slavery;
But now I see, and can right plainly show
From whence such abject thoughts and actions grow.
Our adverse body, being earthly, cold,
Heavy, dull, mortal, would not long enfold
A stranger inmate, that was backward still
To all his dungy, brutish, sensual will:
Now hereupon our intellectual,
Compact of fire all celestial, 190
Invisible, immortal, and divine,
Grew straight to scorn his landlord’s muddy slime;
And therefore now is closely slunk away
(Leaving his smoky house of mortal clay),
Adorn’d with all his beauty’s lineaments
And brightest gems of shining ornaments,
His parts divine, sacred, spiritual,
Attending on him; leaving the sensual
Base hangers-on lusking at home in slime,
Such as wont to stop port Esquiline.[562] 200
Now doth the body, led with senseless will
(The which, in reason’s absence, ruleth still),
Rave, talk idly, as ’twere some deity,
Adoring[563] female painted puppetry;
Playing at put-pin,[564] doting on some glass
(Which, breath’d but on, his falsèd gloss doth pass);
Toying with babies,[565] and with fond pastime,
Some children’s sport, deflow’ring of chaste time;
Employing all his wits in vain expense,
Abusing all his organons of sense. 210
Return, return, sacred Synderesis!
Inspire our trunks! Let not such mud as this
Pollute us still. Awake our lethargy,
Raise us from out our brain-sick foolery!