produced such learned variety of footing, and digested it so orderly and close to the ground, that he was rewarded with this relic, the cothurne or buskin of Sophocles, which for more eminence he wears on his head. The paradoxical virtue thereof is, that being dipped into River or Spring, it alters the nature of the liquor, and returneth full of wine of Chios, Palermo, or Zante.
2. This second Master of the science of footmanship (for he never came on horseback in his life) was famed at the Feast of Pallas, where in dancing he came off with such lofty tricks, turns above ground, capers, cross-capers, horse-capers, so high and so lofty performed, that he for prize bore away the Helmet of Pallas. The paradoxical virtue of the Cask is, that in our travels if we fall among enemies, show but this, and they suddenly vanish all like fearful shadows.
3. Now, view this third piece of Excellence: this is he that put down all the Bakers, at the feast of Ceres, and so danced there, as if he had kneaded dough with his feet: wherewith the Goddess was so tickled, that she in reward set this goodly loaf on his head, and endued it with this paradoxical influence, that cut off it and eat as often as you please, it straight fills up again, and is in the instant healed of any wound our hunger can inflict on it.
4. Approach now thou that comest in the rear of my disciples, but mayest march in the vanguard of thy validity; for at the celebration of the feast of Venus Cytherea, this Amoroso did express such passion with his eyes, such casts, such winks, such glances, and with his whole body such delightful gestures, such cringes,
such pretty wanton mimics, that he won the applause of all; and, as it was necessary at the Feast of that Goddess, he had then a most ample and inflaming codpiece, which, with his other graces, purchased him this prize, the Smock of Venus, wrapped turbanlike on his head, the same she had on when she went to bed to Mars, and was taken napping by Vulcan. The Paradox of it is, that if it be hanged on the top of our Maypole, it draws to us all the young lads and lasses near adjoining, without power to part till we strike sail ourselves. And now I have named our Maypole, go bring it forth, though it be more cumbersome than the Trojan horse: bring it by force of arms, and see you fix it fast in the midst of this place, lest, when you encircle it with your capricious dances, it falls from the foundation, lights upon some lady’s head, and cuffs off her perriwig. But now for the glory of Athens!
Music plays the Antimasque. The disciples dance one Strain.
We have give you a taste of the excellency of our Athenial Revels, which I will now dignify with mine own person. Lie here, impediment, whereof being freed, I will descend. O, you Authors of Greek wonders! what ostent is this? What supernatural Paradox? a wooden Maypole find the use of voluntary motion! Assuredly this tree was formerly the habitation of some wood nymph, for the Dryads (as the Poets say) live in trees; and perhaps, to honour my dancing, the nymph hath
crept into this tree again: so I apprehend it, and will entertain her courtesy.
Paradox, his Disciples, and the Maypole, all dance.
Did ever eye see the like footing of a tree, or could any tree but an Athenian tree do this? or could any nymph move it but an Athenian nymph? Fair Nymph, though I cannot arrive at thy lips, yet will I kiss the wooden mask that hides thy no doubt most amiable face.