I thank you for your offer of Dupont. Knowing your regard for him, and his dexterity and intelligence in the science of valet-de-chambreship, I see the full force of the sacrifice you are willing to make. If I could be so selfish on another occasion as to accept your offer, the good-will I bear to your old friend John would prevent me at present. Dupont, to be sure, is worth twenty of John for that employment; but I can never forget his long attachment, and I am now so habituated to him, that one generally esteemed a more perfect servant would not suit me so well. I think myself benefited even by his deficiencies, which have obliged me to do many things for myself that other people perform by the hands of their servants. Many of our acquaintances seem absolutely incapable of motion, till they have been wound up by their valets. They have no more use of their hands for any office about their own persons, than if they were paralytic. At night they must wait for their servants, before they can undress themselves, and go to bed: In the morning, if the valet happen to be out of the way, the master must remain helpless and sprawling in bed, like a turtle on its back upon the kitchen-table of an alderman.
I remain, &c.
LETTER III.
Paris.
I Went a few nights since to the Italian Comedy; while I enjoyed the exquisite naiveté of my old friend Carlin, the Marquis de F——, whom you have seen at London, entered the box:—He flew to me with all the vivacity of a Frenchman, and with every mark of pleasure and regard. He had ten thousand questions to ask about his friends in England all in one breath, and without waiting for an answer. Mon cher ami this, ma chere amie t’other; la belle such a one, la charmante such another.
Perceiving we disturbed the company, and having no hopes that the Marquis would be more quiet for some time, I proposed leaving the Comedy. He assented immediately:—Vous avez raison: il n’y a personne ici; c’est un désert—(by the way, the house was very much crowded)—Je suis venu comme vous voyez en polisson;—tout le monde est au Colisée—Allons.—We stepped into his vis-à-vis: He ordered the coachman to drive vîte comme tous les diables. The horses went as fast as they could, and the Marquis’s tongue still faster than they.
When we arrived, I proposed going up to the gallery, where we might see the company below, and converse without interruption, Bon, says he, nous nous nicherons dans un coin pour critiquer tout le monde, comme deux diables boiteux.
A lady of a fine shape and majestic air drew my attention: I asked the Marquis if he did not think her remarkably handsome?—Là, là, said he, coldly.—Nous sommes heureusement placés pour elle. C’est un tableau fait pour être vu de loin.—I then took notice of the excessive whiteness of her skin.—C’est apparemment le goût de son amant d’aujourd’hui, said he; et quand un autre se présenteroit qui préféreroit la couleur de puce, à l’aide d’un peu d’eau chaude, elle seroit aussi son affaire.