Avast, my hearties, port your helm. The sun is over the yard-arm.
C. & N.W.R. Conductor Cornelius O’Konor, from Oconomawoc, a dry land pilot, visited under pressure, a Chicago departmental store recently with his wife. In her dauntless quest for the elusive bargain she led him here and marched him there: into the basement and up the stairs until fatigue made him hanker for home. Refusing her coaxing to make one last trip to the roof before the store closed, O’Konor dropped on a nearby chair while his wife made the ascent for a little “burnt onion” dream of a hat.
Her spouse relaxed, tilted back his chair, cupped his “Christie” on his knees and unexpectedly slept the sleep of the just conductors. When Madam O’K—— returned in the wake of a stream of charitable departing shoppers and awakened her lord, she found in his hat $3.49. Now he wants her to spend their vacation there.
Saturday Night
KNIGHTS OF THE SWINGING LANTERN
“GRAND TRUNK” CONDUCTORS
David J. Dinan; Hugh O’Donnell; Alexander Muir; Allan Eby; William Frost; James Guthrie; Welland Strong