The Fashionable World Displayed

by John Owen

But before I quit the consideration of their language, I think it my duty to point out another peculiarity; of which, to the best of my knowledge, no satisfactory account has yet been given. Whether it arise from the paucity of their words, the confusion of their ideas, or any other cause distinct from each of these, so it is, that they have but one term by which they are accustomed to express their strong emotions both of pleasure and pain. On this term you will find them ringing perpetual changes; and, strange to say, it is to be heard, under one or other of its grammatical inflections, [104] in almost every sentence which falls from their lips. The master has recourse to it in scolding his servants, the officer in reprimanding his men. The traveller employs it in recounting his adventures, and the man of pleasure in describing his intrigues. It is heard in the house, and in the field; in moments of seriousness, and of levity; in expressions of praise, and of blame. In short, it is used on occasions the most dissimilar, under impressions the most contradictory, and for purposes the most opposite; and is, in fact, the sine quâ non of every energetic and emphatical period.

Now it happens, unfortunately, that this catholicon in Fashionable phraseology is, of all terms, that to which sober Christians annex the most awful ideas; and from the use of which they as scrupulously abstain, as they do from that of the Great Being whose vengeance it so tremendously expresses. And it may be worthy of consideration, whether this familiar and unfeeling employment, by people of Fashion, of a term which imports infernal punishment, does not strengthen those doubts which have been already suggested, of their real belief in a place of future torment.

It ought not at the same time to be overlooked, that, in this respect, they bear a close resemblance to the vulgarest part of the community; and it would furnish a subject of curious investigation, why two classes in society, respectively the highest and the lowest, should exhibit so striking an agreement in a material branch of language. I know it has been said, that extremes meet; and the fact before us is so much proof that the remark is just: but that by no means solves the difficulty. For, after all, the question returns upon us, why such a fact should exist? I confess, for my own part, I know no answer that can be given to it; and I very much wish that some one of their number would undertake to explain their real motives for courting a resemblance in one respect with that description of society, from which they make it their pride to differ in every other.

CHAP. VI.

DRESS—AMUSEMENTS.

There are, in the Dress of this people, many singularities, upon which, he who wished to say every thing that could be said, might say a great deal. The peculiarity which a stranger would be most apt to remark, is that of their striving to be as unlike as possible to the rest of the world. This appears, indeed, to be the parent of almost every other peculiarity; and certainly gives birth to many changes not a little ridiculous and prejudicial.

It being a sort of fundamental maxim with them, that superiority consists in dissimilitude, they become engaged in a perpetual competition with the world at large, and to a certain degree with each other. In order to maintain this struggle for pre-eminence, they are compelled to vary the modes and materials of their dress in all the ways which a fanciful imagination can suggest. It happens, through some strange infatuation, that those who affect to despise the man or woman of Fashion, yet ape their dress and air with the most impertinent and vexatious perseverance. What is to be done in this case?—Similitude is not to be endured. In order therefore to throw out their pursuers, these monopolizers of the mode are compelled to run into such eccentricities, as nothing could justify or palliate, but the distress to which they are reduced. If, for example, short skirts and low capes are copied by the herd of imitators, the Fashionables seek their remedy in the opposite extreme; their skirts are drawn down to the calves of their legs, and their capes pulled over their ears with as much solemnity and dispatch, as if their existence depended upon the measure. So if full petticoats and high kerchiefs are adopted by the misses of the crowd, the dressing-chambers of Fashion are all bustle and confusion:—the limbs are stripped, and the bosom laid bare, though the east wind may be blowing at the time; and coughs, rheumatisms, and consumptions, be upon the wings of every blast.

This rage for dissimilitude in the affairs of the wardrobe, is allowed an indefinite scope. Unfortunately, as far as I can learn, there are no determinate points, beyond which it would be esteemed indecent or imprudent to indulge it. The consequence is, that the groom and the gentleman may be often mistaken for each other; and he who is recognised to-day as a man of Fashion, may to-morrow be confounded with one of the people.

I confess I have always regarded this part of their conduct as an impeachment of their political wisdom. I should have thought à priori, that a people who are so jealous of their pre-eminence in society, would not have overlooked the degree in which dress contributes to uphold it. Many a Fashionable man must depend for the whole of his estimation, upon the cut of his coat, and the selection of his wardrobe. A frivolous or preposterous taste may therefore prove fatal to the only sort of reputation which it was in his power to obtain. But besides, an interchange of dress between people of Fashion and those whom they consider their inferiors, may eventually produce very serious mischiefs. The distinctions of rank and condition are manifestly matters of external regulation, and consequently cannot be kept up without a due attention to external appearances. He therefore who makes himself vulgar or ridiculous, is guilty of an act of self-degradation; and the fault will be his own, if he is displaced or despised; since he has renounced that appropriate costume, which proclaimed at once his station in society, and his determination to maintain it.

The fair-sex appear also on their part to set all limits and restraints at defiance. They seem to feel themselves at perfect liberty to follow the prevailing mode, whatever that mode may be. The consequence is, that modesty is often the last thing considered by the young, and propriety as completely neglected by the old. And this latter circumstance may serve to account in some measure for the little respect which is said to be paid to age in the Fashionable World. To judge from the histories of all nations, it seems impossible, that length of days, if accompanied with those characteristics which denote and become it, should not excite spontaneous veneration. But if the shrivelled arm must be bound in ribbands and bracelets, if the withered limbs must be wrapped in muslins and gauzes, and the wrinkled face be decorated with ringlets and furbelows, the silly veteran waves the privilege of her years; and since she disgusts the grave, without captivating the gay, she must not be surprized if she meets with respect from neither.