PAWKINS. I can’t! I say, ain’t you pitching it raither too strong!
WHITE. They say we were found in a cupboard at three o’clock in the morning. Well, we admit the trivial fact, we were in the cupboard.
PAWKINS. No, no, no!
WHITE. Though we have every high virtue, we are still but human; we have hearts not altogether unsusceptible to female beauty. (FERGUSON comes forward, R., in great agitation) Do you now persist in asking why we were in the cupboard? Well, then, we were there for the sake of one of the fair sex.
FERGUS. But, sir, there is a husband——
PAWKINS. Now he’s done it!
WHITE. A husband! Do you call that a husband? As Mr. Justice Blesswell remarked in the great divorce case of Martyr v. Bangwife—such a wretch is not worthy the name of a husband. A man who indulges in large potations—comes home at little hours—and is limited in his notions of crinoline! (bangs chair during speech, then turns it and sits)
PAWKINS. He’ll smash that ere chair!
FERGUS. But, sir, I’m the husband——
WHITE. (rises and goes to PAWKINS) That’s awkward!