Notwithstanding the assemblage of lovely objects, which are presented on the face of this bright landscape, and however it may be a paradise in appearance, all its advantages are neutralized by its pernicious climate, and the camp, after all, is but a gilded mausoleum.
It is likewise morally impossible to enjoy existence in a place where so many annoyances must hourly be encountered, not only from the excessive heat, but from innumerable tormenting insects, and crawling things, that banish all repose, and interfere with every comfort which one might otherwise enjoy.
The report of a heavy piece of ordnance called us up at day break, and the performances commenced by the parade taking place soon after. During the breakfast hours, the spacious green, (then brown with heat,) before our quarters, presented some amusement to the gentlemen at the windows; for sundry maidens, with complexions that would rival Day and Martin, flocked about the settlement, vending their different wares, consisting of tawdry ornaments for the soldiers' wives, and fruits of luscious quality to tempt the officers.—Passing off their jokes and pleasantries, the sable fair-ones, (to use an Irishism), puffed up their goods, while they patiently endured the fire of a volley of oranges, which was discharged from the galleries at their lovely heads.
From eleven till twelve the second breakfast, answering to the Eastern tiffin, was ready in the mess-room, where a banquet was spread out that would have tickled the palate of a Nabob.—The remainder of the day till sunset was one unvarying round of dulness. Sometimes, however, strange as it may seem, the active game of cricket was engaged in, when, under a broiling sun, with jackets off, the characters in the sport seemed using their best efforts to end all their troubles by finding a speedy mode of exit.
Evening parade, at five, was the rallying point for a grand turn out; warlike evolutions, and the military music, in strains harmonious, attracted the fair and languid belles of Kingston. These fascinating daughters of Eve, while in graceful attitudes they lounged in curricle, or landau, cast many a bewitching look upon the gallant heroes thus honoured with their presence.
The rolling of the well known drum, at six, announced the hour of dinner, and round the board were soon collected the hungry candidates, for fame before the trenches, (quere, trenchers)? The happy votaries at the shrine of Epicurus were duly arranged in order of battle, and with Aldermanic science acted their parts, to the no small havoc of the quickly vanishing fare.
Were it possible to exercise the reasoning powers in this abominable furnace there was sufficient means of so doing; for a well stocked library of chosen books afforded a source of enjoyment, that, in any other situation would have been invaluable. But with the thermometer at 90° in the shade, and bright Sol nearly vertical, the faculties of the mind were almost paralysed, and as for the body, it was kiln dried with a vengeance.
Although the months of December and January are considered more temperate than any other throughout the year, the heat when we arrived was intolerable; and as for going out of doors in the middle of the day, it was in truth a melting concern. The sun being at its greatest power between nine o'clock and two in the afternoon, (the interval between the land and sea breeze,) during that time no one in his common senses would venture abroad. The most agreeable portion of the twenty four hours is about sunrise, when the oppressive effects of the sultry atmosphere are tempered by the fresh and balmy air of morning. The evenings, likewise, are pleasant and refreshing, and it is then that exercise and driving about are much enjoyed. The heavy dews at night are highly injurious, and an exposure to their influence is dangerous, if not fatal, particularly to the stranger, or newcomer, who, not being seasoned to all the vicissitudes of these torrid regions, becomes an unguarded victim to his inexperience.
One of the greatest evils attendant on a residence here is the constant thirst, arising from the extreme aridity of the climate, and the violent action of the Solar rays upon the human frame and constitution. The appetite is therefore in general slight, but the inclination to drink is excessive. Hence it is, that sangaree, swizzle, and other mixtures, not exactly in accordance with the rules and laws of the Temperance Society, are continually in requisition, and find their willing votaries at every hour. An old hard-going veteran, who had been tanned and roasted to a cinder, on being asked for his opinion of the country, replied, like a true Salamander, "O! 'tis the finest place in the world, because one is always thirsty, and there is always plenty to drink." The bacchanalian remark was true; for Madeira, Rum and Brandy, flow in copious streams from a fountain, whose source is never exhausted. From the table these liquids, with their accompaniments, are seldom, on any occasion, absent; and the custom of quaffing the intoxicating beverage, in draughts unlimited, is general throughout the length and breadth of all these sun-burnt islands.
The rains seldom fall, but when they do, it is in right earnest, descending with so much violence, that they have some resemblance to a second deluge, of which our puny showers at home can give no adequate idea. To be overtaken in one of them is an adventure of no common peril, and unless the traveller succeeds in a precipitate flight to some adjacent place of shelter, he is in a moment drenched as thoroughly as if he were dragged across a horse-pond.