Although the New Lights in general bore no ill-will against that division or faction which has been distinguished in these pages by the name of True Grits, yet I must say we were not wholly displeased at the result of Serjeant Trap's trial. On the contrary, many of us chuckled in secret thereat. Eliphalet Fox we have ever acknowledged to be a useful man and a zealous—and we have not been backward to award him such meed as he deserved. But it must be told that in Eliphalet there lurks a scantling of ambition to climb higher on the ladder than our party is yet willing to afford to one of his degree. And Eliphalet moreover is suspected—Heaven forfend that I should do him wrong!—in regard to the Hon. Middleton Flam our representative, and those who are not altogether well disposed toward him, I mean Theodore Fog's adherents, (for it is manifest Theodore is looking to a seat in Congress,) utrosque parietes linere, as the Latin proverb has it, which in the vernacular signifies to wear two faces—by no means an uncommon, though a very objectionable sin in political affairs. This may be a groundless suspicion, as I would fain hope it is; but it is believed by many, and therefore the more reason was there for some secret rejoicing in Quodlibet at Eliphalet's failure in the matter of Sim Travers. It unquestionably hath made our editor of the Whole Hog more modest and seemly in his behavior of late.
The course of the canvass has been growing every day more and more intensely interesting to our New Lights; and, bating some few aberrations into which we have fallen, daily gives us greater promise of the consummation of all our wishes. The passage of the Independent Treasury bill has brought us fresh occasion of rejoicing and confidence. After a long, and, as Tom Crop says, a bloody struggle, lo! it is at last the law of the land, and all our wishes are crowned. "It is," as Mr. Flam has declared, "the unmingled, unaided, spontaneous result of popular sagacity—springing not from executive dictation, nor the influence of party discipline, but from the intuitive and instinctive wisdom of millions of freemen ground to the dust by the tyrannical pressure of associated wealth. It is the law of the land in spite of the groans of merchants, the wailings of agriculturists, and the murmurs of mechanics. It seals the fortune of our great chief, and proclaims the immortal triumph of the New-Light Democracy."
When the tidings of this joyful event reached us in Quodlibet, our first care was to fire one hundred guns; the next was to illuminate the Borough, and to bring out all our flags and lanterns; after this the New Lights were called together in the Court-House, where addresses were delivered by Agamemnon Flag and Theodore Fog—the latter of whom actually outdid himself in an effort that would have exalted the fame of Patrick Henry; and to close this jubilee, the Central Committee passed a resolution declaring the bill the Second Declaration of Independence. For this brilliant series of events we have to thank that sturdy devotion to State Rights which shone with such conspicuous luster in the annihilation of New Jersey by the New Lights, in the House of Representatives. But for that glorious stroke of policy the bill would again have been crushed by the serpent of opposition. Now that we have gained it, British Federal Whiggery is forever prostrate.
A fortnight after this event brought us the cheering tidings from Louisiana, to which many an anxious eye had been turned. The elections there have resulted in a splendid victory—a victory, indeed, not indicated by the polls, where the majority was seemingly increased against us—but manifested in the spirit with which our people everywhere received the tidings. Until this spirit became manifest, it might be said our hopes were even wavering; but forthwith an unwonted confidence in our success has spread abroad. The sagacious Mr. Doubleday, whose face may be called the barometer of our party, and to whom we all look for predictions of the future, now wears a countenance wreathed in smiles, and tells us that, from what he knows of the changeableness of that State, "we may make ourselves altogether certain of the victory in the fall."
In running over the events of the day, nothing is more deserving of our animadversion than the ostentatious display, by the British Federal Tory Whigs, of the changes among the people against the New-Light Democracy;—as if here and there the change of some recreant Democrat, who is afraid to follow his leader and chooses to have opinions of his own, could stay the mighty torrent of attachment to the fortunes of our chief. We do not deny these changes; but rather rejoice that men, so little worthy of being called true Quods, should leave our standard to the tried soldiers who have marched behind it in all its vicissitudes, and fought its battles through the whole field of political experiment. By such only can our glorious cause be upheld. But we can recount changes as well as they.
I might select thousands from our newspapers; and I forbear to do so only because I think it unworthy of the good sense of a Quod to parade the names of converts to our party; thus assimilating, as it were, the people to a flock of sheep, and expecting that more will follow because many have gone before.
There is, however, one case which I am sure I shall be excused for bringing before my reader. It is that of the Dibble family of Wisconsin. It was brought to the notice of our Central Committee by Zachary Younghusband, who came into possession of the original manuscript through a brother Postmaster, Mr. Straddle, who resides in the neighborhood of the converted family, and who, in fact, was the amanuensis used upon the occasion. Our committee thought this document of sufficient importance to be copied into the Whole Hog; from whence it is likely to be transferred into every New-Light Democratic paper of the country. It certainly exhibits very conclusive as well as very abundant reasons for change; and may be said to contain the best epitome of the popular objections of the New Lights to the election of General Harrison which has yet appeared in print. An aged and widowed father with five sons—all heretofore steeped to the lips in the slough of British Whiggery—have had the independence to rise, in the majesty of freemen, and boldly assert the highest prerogative of an American citizen—the right of thinking, speaking, and voting in such manner as a patriotic, disinterested New-Light Postmaster, whose opinions are above all suspicion, might direct them. The letter of this never-sufficiently-to-be-admired family will speak for itself. I have only to remark that, in transcribing it, I have taken the liberty to correct, what indeed I must call, some glaring faults in the orthography—which are to be attributed solely to Mr. Straddle, the Postmaster, who reduced the instrument to writing, and who, by-the-by, let me say, should be advised to give more of his attention to the useful art of spelling—but in no other point altering word, syllable, or letter.
It it is somewhat fancifully headed
"GO IT, YE CRIPPLES!
"This is to give notice, that we who have put our sign-manuals to the foot thereof, being till now snorting Whigs, having heard our Postmaster, Clem Straddle, Esq., say that he knows General Harrison sold five white men as slaves off his plantation, and is for abolition, and whipped four naked women on their bare backs, and is for imprisonment for debt, and moreover is for making a King, and goes for raising the expenses of the Government up to fifteen millions, and is a coward and wears petticoats, and is kept in a cage, and wants to reduce wages, and for that purpose is a going to have a standing army of two hundred thousand men, which our free and independent spirits won't bear, and wants to give the public money, which comes from the sweat of our brows, and public lands, to Sam Swartout and Price, and a gang of British Whigs, which we consider against the Constitution, and moreover we don't believe he won't answer, and has got no principles excepting them what he used to have, and is against the Independent Treasury which was signed Fourth of July, whereby it is the Declaration of Independence; and the aforesaid Clem Straddle, Esq., which writeth this for us and in our names, being against all office-holders which the British Whigs is a striving after, and tells us to vote for Van Buren, we being an affectionate father and five orphan children without any mother, and never had any since infancy, make known that in the next Presidential election in this Territory, if we had a vote, and if not we shall vote in Missouri, we goes against Tip. and Ty. and all that disgusting mummery of Log Cabins, Hard Cider, Coonskins, Possums, and Gourds, in regard of their lowering morals, and goes for Jackson, Hickory Poles, Whole Hogs, and Van Buren, as witness our hands and seals.