Two old farmers were walking up a road near Dunfermline, when one of the pair, shading his eyes from the sun, pointed to a distant field and said:
"I wonder if that figure over there is a scarecrow."
He paused and considered the matter for a while, and then, in a satisfied tone, concluded:
"Yes, it must be a scarecrow; it's not moving."
But the other Scot had a sharper pair of eyes, and perhaps a better understanding of human nature.
"No," he said, dryly, "it's not a scarecrow; it's only a man working by the day."
1070
ADVICE TO A YOUNG LADY.
The Rev. Mr. Berridge being once visited by a loquacious young lady, who, forgetting the modesty of her sex, and the superior gravity of an aged divine, engrossed all the conversation of the interview with small talk concerning herself. When she rose to retire, he said, "Madam, before you withdraw, I have one piece of advice to give you; and that is, when you go into company again, after you have talked half an hour without intermission, I recommend it to you to stop awhile, and see if any other of the company has anything to say."
—Old Magazine.