1924
ONE WAY OF ACQUIRING A TITLE.
"From time immemorial," said Judge Asher Carruth, of London, "Southern people have been lavish in bestowing titles. I think there is something in the Southern temperament which explains this. I didn't start out on this, however, for a philosophical disquisition, but rather to tell how a certain Kentucky gentleman established valid title to the rank of Colonel. He went to Cincinnati once with a friend, who enjoyed many acquaintances there; and who introduced him to every one as Colonel Brown. Everything went along smoothly until finally one Cincinnatian asked of the introducer:
"I suppose your friend Colonel Brown was in the Confederate army?"
"No, sir; he was not."
"Well, then, he fought on the Union side?"
"You are wrong there, too."
"Oh, I see now; he got his title by serving in the State militia?"
"No, he never entered the militia."
"Then, how did he get to be a colonel?"