“I started up home next day, with my purchases, and sich a time as I had on the way. I got dreamin' so strong about bein' married to Sally, that I was etarnally wakin' up huggin' and kissin' the pillows, as ef they wur gals at a huskin'. At last I got home, tickled all to death at my future prospects. I met Jess at the landin'—he gin me a starr, looked at the little yaller gal, and then spread himself with a guffaw, as ef he wur goin' into fits. I riled up a little, but thought thar wur time enough to sarve him out, so I passed on. The fellars in the settlement seemed to be allfired pleased at my gittin' back, fur they kept a grinnin' and bowin' and lookin' at my little yaller gal.
“'Wont you take a little suthin', Sam,' said Jim Belt, the grocery keeper.
“'Not now, I thank you, Jim, ses I.' “'What, you aint agoin' in fur temperance pledges, too, are you?' asked Jim, and then the boys all holler'd as ef they'd bust thar heads.
“'Not ex-a-c-t-ly!' ses I, rather slow, tryin' all the time to find out what the fun war, but I couldn't get it through my kiverin' of har, so I gin it up and went home. Next day thar wur to be a campmeetin' down in the bottom, and all the boys and gals wur agoin' to it; so, to make a shine with Sally, I sent over word that I would call that mornin' and bring with me my fust pledge of affection, meanin' the parasol, and hoped it would be to her mind both in textur and color. Back came this note in anser:
“'Kune Holler, Juli 8.
“'Miss Spillman's compliments “'To Sam Crowder, Esq.; the
fust pledge of his affections is a little too yaller, and
the textur of its har is too tight a curl, and, more'n that,
she aint ambitious to hev any of his pledges ef tha wur all
white.
“'Sally Spillman.'
“I nigh onto bust with madness!—I could feel every har on my head kindlin' at the eend, 'cause I knew sum cussed lie had been told her, and I blamed Jess fur doin' it. I jest swar a bible oath, I'd spile his pictur' so he couldn't enjoy campmeetin' much; so next mornin,' bright and airly, I accidentally fell in with Jess, goin' arter Sally, with all his Sunday kiverin' on, lookin' as nice as a 'stall fed two year old.' I rite up and asked him what he meant by tellin' lies to the galls about me; that I'd hearn on 'em all over the settlement.
“'I haint told no lie on you,' ses Jess, 'fur what's told, you told yourself—ef you hev nigger babies in the south, you needn't insult decent white gals by offerin' to let 'em nuss 'em—'
“I didn't wait till he finished afore I hit him, biff, alongside of his smeller, and went into him all-fours, catamount fashion. The thing had now cum to a windin' up pint—this fight war to eend the matter about Sally, and as I didn't want to gin her up easy, I laid myself out fur a purty long spell. I could soon see by the way Jess went to work that he'd kalculated upon a pretty big chunk of a fight, too, so we both began to save ourselves. I had a leetle the advantage of Jess, for he didn't want to spile his Sunday fix-ups, while I didn't care a cuss fur my old boat suit. When I'd grab his trowsers and gin 'em a hitch, he'd ease off, and then I'd lend him a staggerer, which was generally follered by his makin' me fly round like a weazel—cre-a-tion, how tough he war!
“While we wur havin' a rite smart time together, nary one of us seed Sally ridin' along down the wagin track, lookin' out fur Jess, but she seed us, hitched her horse, and climbed onto a stump to see the fight out. As I war carfully reachin' fur Jess' ear with my grinders, I heerd her sing out—
“'Tech it ef you dar!—you nigger cannibal!'