BOTHERSOME BILLS.
Defter at the anvil than at the desk was a village blacksmith who held a customer responsible for a little account running:
| To menden to broken sorspuns | 4 punse |
| To handl to a kleffr | 6 " |
| To pointen 3 iron skurrs | 3 " |
| To repairen a lanton | 2 " |
| A klapper to a bel | 8 " |
| Medsen attenden a cow sick the numoraman a bad i | 6 " |
| To arf a da elpen a fillup a taken in arvist | 1 shillin |
| To a hole da elpen a fillup a taken in arvist | 2 " |
| Totle of altigether | 5 shillins and fippunse. |
That the honest man’s services had been requisitioned for the mending of two saucepans, putting a new handle to an old cleaver, sharpening three blunted iron skewers, repairing a lantern, and providing a bell with a clapper is clear enough; and by resolving “a fillup” into “A. Phillip,” all obscurity is removed from the last two items, but “the numoraman a bad i” is a nut the reader must crack for himself.
ONE FROM A PUBLICAN.
He stabled a horse for a night, and sent it home next day with a bill debiting the owner:
| To anos | 4/6 |
| To agitinonimom | -/6 |
| 5/- |
A LAUNDRY BILL.
A tourist in Tasmania, being called upon to pay a native dame of the wash-tub “OOo III,” opened his eyes and ejaculated, “O!” but the good woman explained that he owed her just two and ninepence, a big O standing for a shilling, a little one for sixpence, and each I for a penny.