“AWFUL SACRIFICE.”
One of those generous, disinterested, self-sacrificing tradesmen, having stuck upon every other pane of glass in his window, “Selling-off,” “No reasonable offer refused,” “Must close on Saturday,” offered himself as bail, or security, in some case which was brought before a magistrate, when the following dialogue ensued:—The magistrate asking him if he was worth £200, “Yes,” he replied. “But you are about to remove, are you not?” “No.” “Why, you write up, ‘Selling-off.’” “Yes, every shopkeeper is selling off.” “You say, ‘No reasonable offer will be refused.’” “Well, I should be very unreasonable if I did refuse such offers.” “But you say, ‘Must close on Saturday.’” “To be sure; you would not have me open on Sunday, would you?”
[128.] A man dying left his property of £10,000 to his four children, aged respectively 6, 8, 10, and 12 years, on the understanding that each on attaining his majority shall receive the same amount of money, comp. interest at the rate of 4½ per cent. being allowed. What is the amount of the £10,000 payable to each?
A WASTE OF TIME.
A little boy spent his first day at school. “What did you learn?” was his aunt’s question. “Didn’t learn nothing.” “Well, what did you do?” “Didn’t do nothing. There was a woman wanting to know how to spell ‘cat,’ and I told her.”
An English School-boy’s Essay on Australia.
“Part of Austrailya is vague. It ust to be used by the English to keep men on that was not bad enough to be killed. Some farms would raise as much as five hundred thousand. The English long ago ust to send their prisoners there when they did anything not worth hanging.