A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE
Illustrating that no Matter How Much You Have, You Want Something that Somebody Else Has
Sam Alexander—“By jing, if I was fixed as well as Curt Hawkins, I’d be just about satisfied; 240 acres of good land, all tiled and unencumbered, a hundred head of cattle, a likely bunch of shoats, money in the bank, to say nothing of as nice a wife as ever put on a wedding-ring.”
Curt Hawkins—“Now, that’s the way I hope to be fixed some day. Colonel Porter’s worth at least a million, goes abroad every summer, has a couple fine residences, and the handsomest wife in the county.”
Colonel Porter—“I wish we were as well fixed as Lycurgus Scadsworth. There he goes out to his yacht with a bunch of royalty, and they don’t know we’re on earth. Great Scott! I envy that man.”
Lycurgus Scadsworth (as Sam Alexander sprints at the first note of the dinner bell)—“Ah, that’s the life! Simple, wholesome and natural! I’d give my tired soul and everything I have for an appetite like that man’s.”