BIRD CENTER ABROAD
FIFTH INSTALMENT
THE Editor is pleased to present to the readers of the Bird Center Argosy the following travel-paper from Mr. Smiley Greene, our popular undertaker, who is doing Europe with a party of travelers from this city.
J. Oscar Fisher, Editor.
Paris, August.
In Paris, France, at last! France, the gay, the light-hearted; France, the country with a history! Every wall has its tale of war and revolution and death. Placards reading “Defense d’Afficher” mark where notable defenses, back in some dark days of the past, have been made by gallant sons of Gaul. Captain Fry says Gaul is divided into three parts, not counting Gus Figgey. Gus says some one ought to consolidate them into a union. We have been having considerable trouble with the language, as they all speak the foreign tongue here, so that even by shouting at the top of your lungs, you can’t make them understand. Lucile Ramona Brown tried her French on them, but they didn’t even understand that. She seems to get her accents on the wrong words.
Paris never was more beautiful, even although we understand that most of the society people have gone away for the summer. You can’t help pitying these Europeans, for they can’t go abroad for the summer, being already there. Went out to visit the Morgue to-day. Busiest place of its kind I’ve ever seen. Visited Napoleon’s tomb this afternoon, and consider it a most imposing place. Mr. Figgey tells us that the departed is a relative of the new United States Secretary of the Navy, a fact which has aroused great interest in our midst. Yesterday we drove out to witness the Arch of Triumph, which was greatly enjoyed by all save Ernest Pratt, to whom Europe is an old story, he having been here before. To-morrow we go out to view Père la Chaise, the famous cemetery of Paris. It is said that many well-known Frenchmen and French women sleep their last sleep out there, so we have cautioned Gus Figgey to put on the soft pedal for a short spell. Ernest Pratt says Abelard and Hèloise lie there, but whether they are two people or a firm I cannot state. Visited the Louvre yesterday and saw the Venus of Milo, which greatly shocked Elmer Pratt. Gus Figgey says her arms were guillotined during the French Revolution, but be it as it may, she certainly is shy on arms. Orville Peters and Wilbur Fry are eager to get to Venice to while away the hours with dulcet strains from their mandolins, but Ernest Pratt says, “Wait till we see Saint Peter’s.” To-morrow we view the Catacombs and the Cemetery of Montmartre.
Everybody is well and happy. More anon.