5. Now self-will, as well as pride, is a species of idolatry: and both are directly contrary to the love of God. The same observation may be made, concerning the love of the world. But this likewise even true believers are liable to feel in themselves; and every one of them does feel it, more or less, sooner or later, in one branch or another. It is true, when he first passes from death unto life, he desires nothing more but God.He can truly say, All my desire is unto thee, and unto the remembrance of thy name. Whom have I in heaven but thee, and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee! But it is not so always. In process of time he will feel again, (tho’ perhaps only for a few moments) either the desire of the flesh, or the desire of the eye, or the pride of life. Nay, if he does not continually watch and pray, he may find lust reviving, yea, and thrusting sore at him that he may fall, ’till he has scarce any strength left in him. He may feel the assaults of inordinate affection, yea a strong propensity to love the creature more than the Creator: whether it be a child, a parent, an husband or wife, or the friend that is as his own soul. He may feel in a thousand various ways, a desire of earthly things or pleasures. In the same proportion he will forget God, not seeking his happiness in him, and consequently being a lover of pleasure more than a lover of God.
6. If he does not keep himself every moment, he will again feel the desire of the eye, the desire of gratifying his imagination, with something great, or beautiful, or uncommon. In how many ways does this desire assault the soul? Perhaps with regard to the poorest trifles, such as dress, or furniture: things never designed to satisfy the appetite of an immortal spirit. Yet how natural is it for us, even after we have tasted of the powers of the world to come, to sink again into these foolish, low desires of things, thatperish in the using? How hard is it, even for those, who know in whom they have believed, to conquer but one branch of the desire of the eye, curiosity? Constantly to trample it under their feet? To desire nothing, merely because it is new?
7. And how hard is it even for the children of God wholly to conquer the pride of life? St. John seems to mean by this nearly the same with what the world terms the sense of honour. This is no other than a desire of and delight in the honour that cometh of men: a desire and love of praise, and (which is always joined with it) a proportionable fear of dispraise. Nearly allied to this is evil shame: the being ashamed of that wherein we ought to glory. And this is seldom divided from the fear of man, which brings a thousand snares upon the soul. Now where is he even among those that seem strong in faith, who does not find in himself a degree of all these evil tempers? So that even these are but in part crucified to the world: for the evil root still remains in their heart.
8. And do we not feel other tempers, which are as contrary to the love of our neighbour, as these are to the love of God? The love of our neighbour thinketh no evil: do not we find any thing of the kind? Do we never find any jealousies, any evil surmisings, any groundless or unreasonable suspicions? He that is clear in these respects, let him cast the first stone at hisneighbour. Who does not sometimes feel other tempers or inward motions, which he knows are contrary to brotherly love? If nothing of malice, hatred or bitterness, is there no touch of envy? Particularly toward those who enjoy some (real or supposed) good, which we desire, but cannot attain? Do we never find any degree of resentment, when we are injured or affronted? Especially by those whom we peculiarly loved, and whom we had most laboured to help or oblige. Does injustice or ingratitude never excite in us any desire of revenge? Any desire of returning evil for evil, instead of overcoming evil with good? This also shews, how much is still in our heart, which is contrary to the love of our neighbour.
9. Covetousness in every kind and degree is certainly as contrary to this as to the love of God. Whether φιλαργυρία, the love of money, which is too frequently the root of all evils, or πλεονεξία, literally, a desire of having more, or increasing in substance. And how few even of the real children of God, are entirely free from both? Indeed one great man, Martin Luther used to say, he “Never had any covetousness in him, (not only in his converted state, but) ever since he was born.” But if so, I would not scruple to say, he was the only man born of a woman, (except him that was God as well as man) who had not, who was born without it. Nay, I believe, never was any one born of God, thatlived any considerable time after, who did not feel more or less of it many times, especially in the latter sense. We may therefore set it down as an undoubted truth, that covetousness, together with pride, and self-will and anger remain in the hearts even of them that are justified.
10. It is their experiencing this which has inclined so many serious persons, to understand the latter part of the seventh chapter to the Romans, not of them that are under the law, that are convinced of sin, which is undoubtedly the meaning of the apostle, but of them that are under grace, that are justified freely through the redemption that is in Christ. And it is most certain, they are thus far right: there does still remain even in them that are justified, a mind which is in some measure carnal; (so the apostle tells even the believers at Corinth, Ye are carnal:) an heart bent to backsliding, still ever ready to depart from the living God: a propensity to pride, self-will, anger, revenge, love of the world, yea and all evil; a root of bitterness, which if the restraint were taken off for a moment, would instantly spring up: yea, such a depth of corruption, as without clear light from God, we cannot possibly conceive. And a conviction of all this sin remaining in their hearts, is the repentance which belongs to them that are justified.
11. But we should likewise be convinced, that as sin remains in our hearts, so it cleaves to all our words and actions. Indeed it is to be fearedthat many of our words are more than mixt with sin; that they are sinful all together; for such undoubtedly is all uncharitable conversation: all which does not spring from brotherly love, all which does not agree with that golden rule, What ye would that others should do to you, even so do unto them. Of this kind is all backbiting, all tale-bearing, all whispering, all evil-speaking; that is, repeating the faults of absent persons: for none would have others repeat his faults when he is absent. Now how few are there, even among believers, who are in no degree guilty of this? Who steddily observe the good, old rule, “Of the dead and the absent—nothing but good.” And suppose they do, do they likewise abstain from unprofitable conversation? Yet all this is unquestionably sinful, and grieves the holy Spirit of God. Yea, and for every idle word that men shall speak they shall give an account in the day of judgment.
12. But let it be supposed, that they continually watch and pray, and so do not enter into this temptation; that they constantly set a watch before their mouth, and keep the door of their lips: suppose they exercise themselves herein, that all their conversation may be in grace seasoned with salt, and meet to minister grace to the hearers: yet do they not daily slide into useless discourse, notwithstanding all their caution? And even when they endeavour to speak for God, are their words pure, free from unholy mixtures?Do they find nothing wrong in their very intention? Do they speak merely to please God, and not partly to please themselves? Is it wholly, to do the will of God, and not their own will also? Or, if they begin with a single eye, do they go on looking unto Jesus, and talking with him all the time they are talking with their neighbour? When they are reproving sin, do they feel no anger or unkind temper to the sinner? When they are instructing the ignorant, do they not find any pride, any self-preference? When they are comforting the afflicted, or provoking one another to love and to good works, do they never perceive any inward self-commendation, “Now you have spoke well?” Or any vanity, a desire that others should think so, and esteem them on the account? In some or all of these respects, how much sin cleaves to the best conversation even of believers? The conviction of which is another branch of the repentance which belongs to them that are justified.
13. And how much sin, if their conscience is throughly awake, may they find cleaving to their actions also? Nay, are there not many of these, which though they are such as the world would not condemn, yet cannot be commended, no nor excused, if we judge by the word of God? Are there not many of their actions, which they themselves know, are not to the glory of God? Many, wherein they did not even aim at this, which were not undertaken with an eye to God?And of those that were, are there not many, wherein their eye is not singly fixt on God? Wherein they are doing their own will, at least as much as his, and seeking to please themselves as much, if not more than to please God? And while they are endeavouring to do good to their neighbour, do they not feel wrong tempers of various kinds? Hence their good actions, so called, are far from being strictly such, being polluted with such a mixture of evil! Such are their works of mercy! And is there not the same mixture in their works of piety? While they are hearing the word which is able to save their souls, do they not frequently find such thoughts, as make them afraid, lest it should turn to their condemnation, rather than their salvation? Is it not often the same case, while they are endeavouring to offer up their prayers to God, whether in public, or private? Nay, while they are engaged in the most solemn service. Even while they are at the table of the Lord, what manner of thoughts arise in them? Are not their hearts sometimes wandering to the ends of the earth, sometimes filled with such imaginations, as make them fear, lest all their sacrifice should be an abomination to the Lord. So that they are more ashamed of their best duties, than they were once of their worst sins.
14. Again. How many sins of omission are they chargeable with? We know the words of the apostle, To him that knoweth to do good, anddoth it not, to him it is sin. But do they not know a thousand instances, wherein they might have done good, to enemies, to strangers, to their brethren, either with regard to their bodies or their souls, and they did it not? How many omissions have they been guilty of, in their duty toward God? How many opportunities of communicating, of hearing his word, of public or private prayer have they neglected? So great reason had even that holy man archbishop Usher, after all his labours for God, to cry out, almost, with his dying breath, “Lord, forgive me my sins of omission.”