Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect;—but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. And then he adds, Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, be thus minded.
But if the apostle thought it necessary for those who were in his state of perfection to be thus minded; thus labouring, pressing, and aspiring after some degrees of holiness, to which they were not then arrived; surely it is much more necessary for us, to be thus minded; thus earnest and striving after such degrees of a holy life, as we have not yet attained.
7. The best way for any one to know how much he ought to aspire after holiness, is to ask himself, how much he thinks will make him easy at the hour of death.
Now any man that dares put this question to himself, will be forced to answer, that at death, every one will wish, he had been as perfect as human nature can be.
Is not this sufficient to put us, not only upon wishing, but labouring after all that perfection which we shall then lament the want of? Is it not excessive folly to be content with such a course of piety as we already know cannot content us, at a time when we shall so want it, as to have nothing else to comfort us? How can we carry a severer condemnation against ourselves, than to believe, that at the hour of death, we shall want the virtues of the saints, and wish that we had been among the first servants of God, and yet take no methods of arriving at their height of piety, whilst we are alive?
8. Though this is an absurdity that we can pass over, whilst the health of our bodies, the passions of our minds, the noise, and hurry, and pleasures, and business of the world, lead us on with eyes that see not; yet at death, it will appear before us in a dreadful magnitude: it will haunt us like a dismal ghost; and our conscience will never let us take our eyes from it.
We see in worldly matters, what a torment self-condemnation is; and how hardly a man is able to forgive himself, when he has brought himself into any calamity or disgrace, purely by his own folly. The affliction is made doubly tormenting; if he is forced to charge it all upon himself, as his own act and deed, against the reason of things, and contrary to the advice of his friends.
Now by this we may in some degree guess, how terrible that self-condemnation will be, when a man shall find himself in the misery of death, under the severity of a self-condemning conscience; charging all his distress upon his own folly and madness, against the sense and reason of his own mind, against all the doctrines and precepts of religion, and contrary to all the instructions, calls, and warnings both of God and man.
9. *Penitens was a busy, notable tradesman, and very prosperous in his dealings, but died in the thirty-fifth year of his age.
A little before his death, when the doctors had given him over, some of his neighbours came to see him; at which time he spoke thus to them.