3. *Look at Flatus, and learn how miserable they are, who are left to the folly of their own passions.
Flatus is rich and in health, yet always uneasy, and always searching after happiness. Every time you visit him, you find some new project in his head; he is eager upon it as something that is more worth his while, and will do more for him, than any thing that is already past. Every new thing so seizes him, that if you was to take him from it, he would think himself quite undone. His sanguine temper, and strong passions, promise him so much happiness in every thing, that he is always cheated, and is satisfied with nothing.
At his first setting out in life, fine cloaths was his delight. His enquiry was only after the best taylors and peruke-makers; and he had no thoughts of excelling in any thing but dress. He spared no expence, but carried every nicety to its greatest height. But this happiness not answering his expectations, he left off his brocades, put on a plain coat, railed at fops and beaux, and gave himself up to gaming with great eagerness.
This new pleasure satisfied him for some time; he envied no other way of life. But being by the fate of play, drawn into a duel, where he narrowly escaped his death, he left off the dice, and sought for happiness no longer amongst the gamesters.
4. The next thing that seized his wandering imagination, was the diversions of the town; and for more than a twelvemonth, you heard him talk of nothing but ladies, drawing-rooms, birth-nights, plays, balls, and assemblies; but growing sick of these, he had recourse to hard drinking. He had now many a merry night, and met with stronger joys than any he had felt before. And here he had thoughts of setting up his staff, and looking out no farther; but unluckily falling into a fever, he grew angry at all strong liquors, and took his leave of the happiness of being drunk.
The next attempt after happiness carried him into the field. For two or three years nothing was so happy as hunting. He entered upon it with all his soul, and leaped over more hedges and ditches than had ever been known in so short a time. You never saw him but in a green coat. He was the envy of all that blow the horn, and always spoke to his dogs in great propriety of language. If you meet him at home in a bad day, you would hear him blow his horn, and be entertained with the surprizing accidents of the last noble chace. No sooner had Flatus outdone all the world in the breed and education of his dogs, built new kennels, new stables, and bought a new hunting-seat, but he got sight of another happiness, hated the senseless noise and hurry of hunting, gave away his dogs, and was for some time after deep in the pleasures of building.
5. Now he invents new kinds of dovecoats, and has such contrivances in his barns and stables, as were never seen before. He wonders at the dulness of the old builders, is wholly bent upon the improvement of architecture, and will hardly hang a door in the ordinary way. He tells his friends, that he never was so delighted in any thing in his life; that he has more happiness amongst his brick and mortar, than ever he had at court: and that he is contriving how to have some little matter to do that way as long as he lives.
After this, he was a great student for one whole year. He was up early and late at his Italian grammar, that he might have the happiness of understanding the opera, and not be like those unreasonable people, that are pleased with they don’t know what.
Flatus is very ill-natured, or otherwise, just as his affairs happen to be when you visit him. If you find him when some project is almost wore out, you will find a peevish, ill-bred man; but if you had seen him just as he entered upon his riding regimen, or begun to excel in sounding the horn, you had been saluted with great civility.
Flatus is now at a full stand, and is doing what he never did in his life before. He is reasoning and reflecting with himself. He loses several days, in considering which of his cast-off ways of life he should try again.