HAD not my right hand long since forgot her cunning, and the Almighty shook the pen out of my hand, I should long e’er this have written to thee; but it is a wonder of divine power and goodness that my soul had not before this time dwelt in silence, and that death had not put the long period to all my writing and converse.
Long is the song of love that I have to tell thee. I rejoice in the constancy of thy love, that the waters of so long a silence, and so great a distance have not yet quenched it. But thy desires are towards me, and thy heart is with me, though providence hath hindered me from thy much-desired company. I will assure thee it hath been a pleasure to my heart a good part of this summer, to hope that I should come one half of the way to give thee a meeting. But such is my weakness hitherto, that I am forced to put off those hopes till the spring, when, if God gives me strength to ride, I intend to see thee before mine own home. I thank thee for all the dear expressions of thy fervent love: my expences have been vast; but surely goodness and mercy hath followed me, and do follow me in every place, and in every change of my condition; so that as to temporals, I have lack of nothing, and as for spirituals I abound and superabound, and the streams of my comforts have been full and running over. The joy of the Lord hath been my strength at the weakest, and in the multitude of my thoughts within me, his comforts have refreshed my soul. I have found God a satisfying portion to me, and have sat under his shadow with full delights, and his fruit is most sweet to my taste: he is my strength [♦]and my song, for I will talk of him, and write of him with perpetual pleasure. Through grace I can say, methinks I am now in my element, since I have begun to make mention of him, I am rich in him and happy in him, and my soul saith unto him with David, Thou hast made me most blessed for ever more. Happy is the hour that ever I was born, to be made partaker of so blissful a treasure, so endless a felicity, such angelical a prerogative, as I have in him: O how sweet are his converses, how delightful it is to triumph in his love.
[♦] duplicate word “and” removed
Methinks the story of the lepers comes not unaptly to my mind, who said one to another when they had eat and drunk and carried away silver and gold and raiment, and went and hid it, We do not well; this day is a day of good tidings, and we hold our peace. It is fit that I should be cloathed with shame; I acknowledge before God, who trieth the hearts I am unworthy, everlastingly unworthy. But it is not fit that he should lose his praise; nay rather let him be the more adored, and magnified and admired for ever and ever. Bless the Lord, O my soul, bless the Lord, O my friend; let us exalt his name together. He is my solace in my solitude; he is my standing comforter, my tried friend, my sure refuge, my safe retreat; he is my paradise, he is my heaven; and my heart is at rest in him: and I will sit and sing under his shadow, as a bird among the branches. And whither should I go but unto him? Shall I leave the fatness of the olive, and the sweetness of the fig-tree, and of the vine, and go and put my trust under the shadow of the bramble? No, I have made my everlasting choice: this is my rest for ever, he is my well-beloved, in whom I am well-pleased. Suffer me to boast a little: here I may glory without vanity, and I can praise him without end or measure; but I have nothing to say of myself: I find thou dost over-value me; set the crown upon the head of Christ; let nothing be great with thee but him, give him the glory. God that knoweth all things, knoweth my poverty, how little, how low, and how mean I am, and how short I come of the attainments of the saints, who yet themselves come so exceedingly short of the rule that God hath set before us. I often think of the complaint of the devout Monsieur De Renty [I feel myself very poor this week; and very defective in the love of God; if you would know wherein you can pleasure me, love God more: that what is wanting in me may be made up in the abundance of your love:] in this thou mayest highly pleasure me: love God a little the better, praise him a little the more for my sake; let me have this to please myself in, that God is a little the better loved for me, and that I have blowed up, if it be but one spark of divine love in the bosom of my dearest friend, towards him.
Thy cautions are acceptable to me, I desire to provide for manifold changes and storms. I know I am not yet in the harbour; O pray with me that I may not enter into temptation; for I am very weak in spirit, as well as in body, God knoweth. Somewhere or other I must break off, and thou wilt say, it is time to shut up. For once only know, that I am thy daily orator, and will be whilst I am. And yet once more, I must have room to add my thankful acknowledgment of thine. With our most dear affections to you both, I commend you to the God of love, still abiding,
Thy fast and sure
FRIEND.
Bath, October 12, 1668.