13. Have I, without some particular good in view, mentioned the contempt I had met with?
I DESIRE to offer unto thee, O Lord, my evening sacrifice, the sacrifice of a contrite spirit. Have mercy upon me, O God, after thy great goodness, and after the multitude of thy mercies do away mine offences. Let thy unspeakable mercy free me from the sins I have committed, and deliver me from the punishment I have deserved (——)[¹]. O save me from every work of darkness, and cleanse me from all filthiness of flesh and spirit, that, for the time to come, I may with a pure heart and mind follow thee the only true God.
[¹] Here mention the particulars you would pray for.
O Lamb of God, who both by thy example and precept didst instruct us to be meek and humble, give me grace throughout my whole life, in every thought, and word and work, to imitate thy meekness and humility. O mortify in me the whole body of pride: grant me to feel that I am nothing and have nothing, and that I deserve nothing but shame and contempt, but misery and punishment. Grant, O Lord, that I may look for nothing, claim nothing, and that I may go through all the scenes of life, not seeking my own glory, but looking wholly unto thee, and acting wholly for thee. Let me never speak any word that may tend to my own praise, unless the good of my neighbour require it. And even then let me beware, lest to heal another, I wound my own soul. Let my ears and my heart be ever shut to the praise that cometh of men, and let me refuse to hear the voice of the charmer, charm he never so sweetly. Give me a dread of applause, in whatsoever form, and from whatsoever tongue it cometh. I know that many stronger men have been slain by it, and that it leadeth to the chambers of death. O deliver my soul from this snare of hell; neither let me spread it for the feet of others. Whosoever perish thereby, be their blood upon their own head, and let not my hand be upon them.
O thou giver of every good and perfect gift, if at any time thou pleasest to work by my hand, teach me to discern what is my own from what is another’s, and to render unto thee the things that are thine. As, all the good that is done on earth, thou dost it thyself, let me ever return to thee all the glory. Let me, as a pure chrystal, transmit all the light thou pourest upon me; but never claim as my own what is thy sole property.
O thou who wert despised and rejected of men, when I am slighted by my friends, disdained by my superiors, overborn, or ridiculed by my equals, or contemptuously treated by my inferiors, let me cry out with thy holy martyr[¹], “It is now that I begin to be a disciple of Christ.” Then let me thankfully accept, and faithfully use the happy occasion of improving in thy meek and lowly Spirit. If for thy sake men cast out my name as evil, let me rejoice, and be exceeding glad. If for my own infirmities, yet let me acknowledge thy goodness, in giving me this medicine to heal my pride and vanity, and beg thy mercy for those physicians of my soul, by whose hands it is administered to me.
[¹] Ignatius.
Make me to remember thee on my bed, and think upon thee when I am waking: thou hast preserved me from all the dangers of the day past: thou hast been my support from my youth up until now: under the shadow of thy wings let me pass this night in comfort and peace.
O thou Creator and preserver of all mankind, have mercy upon all conditions of men: purge thy holy Catholic church from all heresy, schism, and superstition. Bless our sovereign in his person, in his actions, in his relations, and in his people. May it please thee to endue his council, and all the nobility, with grace, wisdom, and understanding; the magistrates with equity, courage and prudence; the gentry with industry and temperance; and all the commons of this land, with increase of grace, and a holy, humble, thankful spirit.
O pour upon our whole church, and especially upon the clergy thereof, the continual dew of thy blessing. Grant to our universities peace and piety, and to all that labour under affliction, constant patience and timely deliverance. Bless all my kindred, (especially my father and mother, my brothers and sisters) and all my friends and benefactors (——)[¹]. Turn the hearts of my enemies (——); forgive them and me all our sins, and grant that we and all the members of thy holy church, may find mercy in the dreadful day of judgment, through the mediation and satisfaction of thy blessed Son Jesus Christ, to whom with thee and the Holy Ghost the comforter, be all honour, praise and thanksgiving, in all the churches of the saints for ever.