3. Have I received the inconveniences I could not avoid, as means of mortification chosen for me by God?
4. Have I contrived pretences to avoid self-denial? In particular,
5. Have I thought any occasion of denying myself too small to be embraced?
6. Have I submitted my will to the will of every one that opposed it; except where the glory of God was concerned?
7. Have I set apart some time for endeavouring after a lively sense of the sufferings of Christ and my own sins? For deprecating God’s judgment, and thinking how to amend?
O ALMIGHTY Lord of heaven and earth, I desire with fear and shame to cast myself down before thee, humbly confessing my manifold sins and unsufferable wickedness. I confess, O great God, that I have sinned grievously against thee by thought, word and deed (particularly this day). Thy words and thy laws, O God, are holy, and thy judgments are terrible! But I have broken all thy righteous laws, and incurred thy severest judgments; and where shall I appear when thou art angry?
But, O Lord my Judge, thou art also my Redeemer! I have sinned, but thou, O blessed Jesus, art my advocate! Enter not into judgment with me, lest I die; but spare me, gracious Lord, spare thy servant, whom thou hast redeemed with thy most precious blood. O reserve not evil in store for me against the day of vengeance, but let thy mercy be magnified upon me. Deliver me from the power of sin, and preserve me from the punishment of it.
Thou whose mercy is without measure, whose goodness is [♦]unspeakable, despise not thy returning servant, who earnestly begs for pardon and reconciliation. Grant me the forgiveness of what is past, and a perfect repentance of all my sins, that for the time to come I may with a pure spirit do thy will, O God, walking humbly with thee, conversing charitably with men, possessing my soul in resignation and holiness, and my body in sanctification and honour.
[♦] “unspeakble” replaced with “unspeakable”
*My Lord and my God, I know that unless I am planted together with thee in the likeness of thy death, I cannot in the likeness of thy resurrection. O strengthen me, that by denying myself and taking up my cross daily, I may crucify the old man, and utterly destroy the whole body of sin. Give me grace to mortify all my members which are upon earth, all my works and affections which are according to corrupt nature. Let me be dead unto sin, unto every transgression of thy law, which is holy, merciful and perfect. Let me be dead unto the world, and all that is in the world, the desires [♦]of the flesh, the desire of the eye, and the pride of life. Let me be dead unto pleasure, so far as it tendeth not to thee, and to those pleasures which are at thy right-hand for evermore. Let me be dead unto my own will, and alive only unto thine. I am not my own; thou hast bought me with a price, with the price of thine own blood. And thou didst therefore die for all, that we should not henceforth live unto ourselves, but unto him that died for us. Arm thou me with this mind; circumcise my heart and make me a new creature. Let me no longer live to the desires of men, but to the will of God. Let thy holy Spirit enable me to say with thy blessed apostle, I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.