*He was a man of tears, and sighs, and groans. He wanted not indeed the joy of a good conscience; and knowing continually in whom he believed, he enjoyed the benefits resulting therefrom, and yet this notwithstanding, the whole of his Christian pilgrimage, was interspersed with much weeping. He seldom had a dry handkerchief a whole day together; his eyes being for the most part, in private especially, as opened fountains; and which did not cease to flow in the night season. How often have I known him water his pillow with those briny rivers! Sometimes lamenting his two great estrangement from his beloved; sometimes mourning for the mourners; but oftener than all, he was sick of love! Love to the Crucified!
To some indeed, there seemed in him something, at least bordering upon, an unyielding austerity of spirit: and so much is true, that with regard to men, and evil angels, he was undaunted, and courageous, as a lion, in the cause of God, and of a good conscience: yet, in other respects, he was a man of the keenest sensibility, and tenderest affections. He was in the presence of his invisible observer, pliant as melted wax, and cloathed with dove-like meekness. He was often, as it were, deluged in tears, prostrate before the footstool of his Lord’s majesty, and overwhelmed with a sense of his glory.
VII.
He was without affectation, a man of humility; not indeed so as to disown, or not to make use of the gifts and graces, with which God had endowed him: this would have been to lie against the truth; but notwithstanding all that he had, yet taking knowledge whence it came, he esteemed himself as nothing; but was truly diffident of, and heartily despised himself. And the only use which he made of the superior qualifications which God bestowed upon him, was to consider himself as obliged thereby, to devote himself more abundantly to the service of God, and of his neighbour. The praises of others served only to abase him, at the sight of his own nothingness. ‘Lord, I am vile! a worm! O deliver me from this evil man myself! Thou only art worthy,’ were the frequent expressions of his lips and pen. If any person, at any time, gave him but the smallest hint, by way of reproof, he received it either with silence, or thankfulness, according to the manner and occasion thereof. And supposing it to be a matter in which he was really without blame, yet the reproof was not lost upon him. He thereby took occasion, to enter more deeply into himself, making the strictest scrutiny into the whole of his tempers and behaviour. He often said to God on these occasions, ‘Lord, though thou knowest I am clear in this matter, yet, alas! How many things are there for which I stand reproved before thee! My God, I adore thee in this, which thou hast permitted.’ He often repeated as a lesson of instruction to himself, those words of Kempis, “Thou dust, learn to obey. Thou earth and clay, learn to demean thyself. Thou oughtest to be such a little child, that every body might trample thee under their feet in the streets.”
VIII.
There was the utmost steadiness in the whole of his religious conduct. The course of the sun, and the seasons, is not more regular, than were his successive exercises of prayer, meditation, preaching, and study; so that from knowing how he spent one day, may be gathered, his manner of spending whole months, or years; allowing only for the difference of circumstances and occasions. Thus it was in things pertaining to God, and his service; though at the same time, his attention to himself, his ease and conveniencies, was such, that some have accounted it not less than blame-worthy negligence: so truly did he live, not to himself, or the will of man, but to God.
IX.
The love of God was the fountain, whence issued forth those fruitful streams, which rendered his soul flourishing as the garden of the Lord, and extended their salutary influence all around, wherever he came. It was to this he reduced every thing. All his works were done in love, and therefore wrought in God. It was a debt he was ever paying, and from which he was never to be discharged.
‘My God, let me love thee! Jesus, Son of the living God, thou knowest that I love thee! O love divine, what hast thou done! O that all the world did but know thee! How would they then love thee, thou altogether lovely!’ To this effect he often breathed out the warm emotions of his heart: so deeply was he penetrated with the love of God his Saviour. He was always exceedingly pleased with, and frequently repeated those lines,
“Eternity too short to speak thy praise!