“O that I could love and obey, as fast as I learn. Truth appears to me every day with new lustre: new springs are opened, and the best wine kept until last.”
“Sunday 19. After asking help from God, I preached my farewel sermon (farewel indeed; It was the last he preached in London, and the last day of his being there) at the Foundery, from Acts xx. 32. And now, brethren I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified. And in the evening, I bid them farewel at the chapel in West-street, from Colossians ii. 6. As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him. In all the duties of the day, public and private, God was exceeding gracious to me. I believe I never felt such strength of love. I was in truth sick of love. I could not sufficiently praise him. All words come far short of what I felt. Lord, thou hast given me much favour in the eyes of this people. They shew it by words and deeds; yea prayers and tears! Reward them a thousand fold. Bring me safe to Bristol, that there I may shew forth the praises of the Lord, and declare thy righteousness, and thy salvation. Amen, Lord Jesus.”
“Monday 20. After prayer with our family, I set out in the machine. I read my Hebrew psalter, and the Christian pattern. I found great tranquility of mind, and my spirit was refreshed with the goodness of God. I conversed with three gentlemen, my companions in the coach, on divine subjects. I prayed earnestly to God before I set out, that my fellow travellers might not swear or curse, and the Lord heard me; for so it was; they rather approved of scripture subjects and studies. O the joy of a good conscience! And the rest which the soul finds in the love of God. The Lord supplies the absence of friends, and all things that are dear to us. His presence makes our paradise. It is not where but what we are, which is the great matter.”
“Thursday 23. At Bristol, I met Mr. W. T. under whose preaching (as has been related) God gave me the clear witness of his forgiving love. Our meeting was for the better. As iron sharpneth iron, so doth the countenance of a man his friend. We remembered the years of the right hand of the most high; and how the Lord filled our mouths with laughter, when he brought back our captivity. Lord bless this man, and make him faithful in all things! And now that I am come to this city to preach the gospel of the kingdom, and spend my life and strength in thy service; assist me O Lord, and make thy goodness known to me. Give me wisdom and strength, O help me Lord Jesus, to glorify thy name. Amen.”
“I read through to day, the epistle of St. James. And I do not wonder that the proud, the sensual, and the lovers of the world, yea all the ungodly of the earth, should find fault with it. In prayer with the family, the spirit was poured out from on high upon us, and great grace rested upon us all.”
“After prayer this morning, I began and read through, in Greek and Latin the 2d. Epistle to Timothy, and found much instruction, and reproof for my soul. O what a man ought a minister to be! How holy, and how wise! What courage, zeal, patience and temperance, are necessary for him in an especial manner in order to give account of himself and others to God with joy.”
“Preaching on 1 John iv. 18. My mind was more clearly enlightened than ever, to see that perfect love is Christian perfection. By simple, but powerful faith, I desire to attain it; and to live and grow in this love, till my spirit returns to God.”
With such desires, and in such meditations as these did he spend his days and nights, longing and sighing for the sight of God continually; and in his prayers, the violence of his affections, did not a little increase the weakness of his body.
The End of the Eleventh Volume.