CHAPTER IX.
Of the confirmation of his soul in the grace of God, and the happy effects which it produced in him.
HE lived now as in another world. Behold God is my salvation, went through the whole of his heart and conduct. His soul was delighted with those good things reserved for, and enjoyed only by such as love God. He so tasted that the Lord is gracious, as left no room, at present, for evil reasonings, and engrossed his whole body and soul for God. The overflowings of his joy corresponding with his former sorrow, rendered him happy beyond all description.
And this, as may be observed in the experience of the faithful, is commonly the case; the peace and joy of justified souls, being usually proportionate to their previous distress; God in this respect likewise, comforting them according to the time wherein he had shewed them trouble. The grand enquiry is “Am I really converted? Am I now at peace, and in fellowship with God my Saviour?” If so, is not the precise how immaterial? Such persons then as have been led by slow, and gradual steps; who have by a comparatively easy transition passed from darkness to light, Let them give glory to their deliverer, and not, on this account, perplex themselves with scruples for having been so gently dealt with. Let them live only for Him, and they shall be finally approved, in the presence of God and of his holy angels.
His happiness now received daily increase from the undoubted assurances which he received of the genuine change.
He observes, “the more I compare my experience with the word of God, and with the experience of his children, I am the more confirmed that it is no delusion, no fancy; but a real work of God, a saving change wrought in my soul by the Spirit of God, through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am persuaded however that the natural man, (1 Corinthians ii. 14.) cannot receive the things of the Spirit of God. He has neither eyes to see, nor a heart to understand them. A stranger doth not intermeddle with this joy. It is the hidden manna, and the white stone, and the new name (of adoption) written thereon, (Revelation ii. 17.) which no man knoweth save he that receiveth it. Glory, glory be to God on high!
“Now did I find the yoke of Christ to be easy indeed, and his burden light. His thoughts and commandments were sweet to my soul, sweeter than honey to my tongue. It was my comfort all the day long to praise my Lord, and to walk in the ways which he set before me. He created me unto good works, and I chearfully walked in them.”
The Love of God being thus shed abroad in his heart enabled him rightly to love his brother also. His soul was drawn out in good will and tender affection to every creature: neighbours and strangers, friends and enemies. “I could (says he) unfeignedly love them that hated me, and pray for them that despitefully used and persecuted me!” Thus truly evidencing himself, to be a child of his Father in heaven.
*But he did not stop here. His soul thirsted more and more for all the mind that was in Christ Jesus. He followed after, and longed for, an entire renovation; for nearer and stronger union and communion with the Lord Jesus: nor could he be at all easy, otherwise than in a free and near access to him, and a sweet enjoyment of his gracious presence. His constant cry was, “Make me holy. Fulfil in me all the good pleasure of thy goodness, and the work of faith with power.” For this he struggled, and pleaded much with God.
This was early his mark, and the glorious prize at which he aimed throughout the residue of his christian race.