*It was a rare thing ever to see him, but with a book in his hand, or speaking of the things of God, or in meditation. When in travelling, he at any time stopt at an inn, as soon as he was showed to his chamber, to stay whether for an hour, or a night; he would take out his little Hebrew psalter (which was his favourite travelling companion) or some other spiritual book, and fall immediately to his usual work; unless the time was taken up in exhorting the landlord, or servants, or in short, any he met with. Accommodations for his body were his smallest care; and his attention to these, were always, as it were by the bye. He, like the tortoise, had his house always with him, and seemed every where, and yet no where at home, in this world. He pursued his work, well nigh equally, at all times, and in all places, spontaneously to tend to God. Even after preaching, he has immediately resumed his studies, (having books always with him,) and this often, where several persons have been talking, or otherwise employed, as their occasions required round about him. He, still pursued his work, as tho’ he were retired in a closet: proceeding on the sentiment, that he had no other business in this world, than to pray, and preach, and study, and live in every place, and in every thing, for God!
The frequency of his stated times of prayer, were, at first especially, much interrupted hereby. But he followed the light which he then had; and intending all his acquirements for the glory of God, in the interest of souls, he thought he might on some occasions, (as one expresses it,) “leave God, for God.”
He was not, however, without frequent jealousies, lest his intense application, even to this kind of employment, should in any wise, divert his heart from what he most prized, namely, close attention to Jesus. After a while therefore, having mastered the main difficulties in his work, his application became much more moderate. He began to “Learn well to know, how much need not be known.”
*One day he writes as follows. “I was all day closely employed at study. But I fear I love my books too much. It is true my studies relate to the word of God: but I often find my mind carried out in desire after languages, arts and sciences; yet I see the vanity of every thing, when separate from God: to be sure, I prize the knowledge of Christ crucified above all other knowledge. To imitate his wisdom, goodness, meekness, patience and love: alas! what are Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Logic, Metaphysics, every thing to this! What is any thing to the love of Jesus! O that sweet peace of conscience, and contentment of mind; which arise from redemption in his blood! O Lord, thou knowest that I desire to be great in thy grace; to be armed with thy armour. My soul longs to rise above these little, transitory things. I fain would rest in thee! I thirst for the divine life. I pray for the spirit of illumination. I cast my soul upon Jesus Christ, the God of glory, and Redeemer of the world. I desire to be conformable unto him; his friend, servant, disciple, and sacrifice! Come now my Jesus! See the longings of my soul, and finish the work there.”
*From hence may be gathered both, what was the spirit of the man, and the tendency of his studies. He desired to know: but it was God, and the things of God, which he proposed to himself, as the sole matter of his knowledge. For altho’ he read occasionally both logic and metaphysics, history, and natural philosophy, yet it was all with reference to his one grand point. Whatever treasures he gathered from abroad in these, or in any other way; as the industrious bee, collecting her sweets from different flowers, deposits all in one hive; so he reduced, and made all his attainments subservient to, the word of God, and acquaintance with Jesus, as his central point.
And his fear, lest in any thing he should deviate from this, had much influence on the regulation of his studies. He well knew, that to have a heart always at leisure for God, attentive to his teaching, and obedient to his dictates, is the great thing to which every design must give place; and that the heart is capable of being overcharged with things, in some respects, lawful and excellent, as with surfeiting and drunkenness, or cares of this life; all of which are therefore, to be as carefully guarded against.
And perhaps there are few things by which the spirit of darkness, so serves himself, among the thinking world, as by this very particular; diverting the mind from proper application to the one thing needful, not indeed by things sensual, or immoral, which they abhor, and would perhaps be shocked at the thought of; but by things, in some respects innocent, and plausible, if not necessary: it may be by curious speculations on government, the works of nature or grace, and ideal pursuits of various kinds.
*Bishop Taylor mentions it as a saying of Oegidius, “an old, and simple woman who loves Jesus, may be greater than was brother Bonadventure.” And inasmuch as the giving our whole heart to God, is that, without which, nothing in religion is available; if this be not done, is it not the same thing, whether it be through gazing at the stars, catching of butterflies, or committing adultery? The death of the body is as fully affected by the prick of a lancet, as by the stroke of a cannon-ball. And, to such alas, as procure the loss of their own soul, how little difference does it make, whether it was done by the crimes, of the grossest kind, or, by what the flattery of self-love, and a mistaken world call little things. He was throughly sensible of his danger in this respect, and began to regulate himself accordingly.
He found towards the conclusion of his studies in particular, that more true wisdom is obtained from God, by prayer and holy meditation in one hour, than from the application of years to folio volumes; and therefore esteemed one single sentiment, gained in this manner, of more value than a thousand speculations acquired by mere dint of study in the way of human science. He perceived well the difference which there is between studying barely to instruct others, (which in its place, is also right and necessary) and studying to perfect one’s self, to produce that purity, and disengagement which is absolutely necessary to receive the true light of the holy Spirit. “The secrets of the kingdom of heaven are not understood thoroughly, but by the sons of the kingdom, and by them, too in several degrees, God distributing to every one severally as he willeth; but to such as know not God, the whole system of this wisdom is insipid and flat, if not totally rejected, dull as the foot of a rock, and unlearned as the elements of our mother tongue. But so are mathematics to a Scythian boar, and music to a camel.”
*His settled manner now was, to assign the morning wholly to the reading, first a chapter out of the Old Testament, and frequently some of the psalms in Hebrew. Then he read, and digest some part of his Greek Testament. His manner of doing this, took him up great part of the forenoon: and afterwards, he read, wrote, or was otherwise employed as occasions directed. He frequently had some persons to visit him for instruction in some point of learning; chiefly in Hebrew. Two or three young men of Cambridge, at different times, being in town, and knowing him, chose to be initiated by him in the Hebrew tongue. He was constantly as communicative as receptive of instruction, withholding nothing from any one, that he thought might be useful to them.