April 7. I endeavoured to open the institution, nature, and ends of the Lord’s supper, as well as the qualifications necessary to the right participation of it. Sundry persons seemed much affected with the love of Christ in this provision for the comfort of his people, at a season when himself was just entering upon his sharpest sufferings.
[On Tuesday, he went to a meeting of the Presbytery appointed at Elisabeth’s-Town. In his way thither, he enjoyed some sweet meditations; but after he came there, he was (as he expresses it) under an awful gloom, that oppressed his mind. And this continued till Saturday evening. He spent the sabbath at Staten island; where he preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed considerable refreshment. In the evening he returned to Elisabeth’s-Town.]
Monday, April 14. My spirits were refreshed, and my mind composed, so that I was in a comfortable frame of soul, most of the day. In the evening my head was clear, my mind serene; I enjoyed sweetness in secret prayer and meditation. Oh, how free, how comfortable, chearful, and yet solemn, do I feel when I am in a good measure freed from those damps and melancholy glooms, that I often labour under!
*Tuesday, April 15. My soul longed for more spirituality: and it was my burden, that I could do no more for God. Oh, my barrenness is my daily affliction! Oh, how precious is time: and how it pains me to see it slide away, while I do so very little to any good purpose! Oh that God would make me more fruitful and spiritual!
Thursday, April 17. I enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom in meditation, and composure in my studies. In the evening I preached from Psalms lxxiii. 28. “But it is good for me to draw near to God.” God helped me to feel the truth of my text. I was enabled to pour out my soul to God with great freedom, fervency, and affection: and to speak with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness: and divine truths seemed to fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. My heart was melted for the dear assembly, and I loved every body in it; my soul cried, “Oh that the dear creatures might be saved! O that God would have mercy on them!”
Lord’s-day, April 20.[¹] I enjoyed some freedom, and exercise of faith and prayer, especially when I came to pray for Zion. I was free from gloomy discouragement; and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion’s prosperity, and the enlargement of the kingdom of the great Redeemer.
[¹] This day he entered into the 29th year of his age.
Monday, April 21. I was composed and comfortable most of the day; had freedom in prayer, several times; especially for Zion’s enlargement and prosperity. And Oh, how refreshing were these hopes to my soul! Oh that the kingdom of the Lord might come.
Tuesday, April 22. My mind was remarkably free from melancholy damps, and animated in my work, I found such vigour and resolution in the service of God, that the mountains seemed to become a plain before me. Oh, blessed be God for an interval of refreshment, and fervent resolution in my Lord’s work! In the evening, my soul was refreshed in secret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine blessings; especially for the church of God, for my own people, and for dear friends in remote places. Oh that Zion might prosper, and precious souls be brought home to God!
April 25. Having appointed the next Lord’s-day for the administration of the Lord’s supper, this day was set apart for solemn fasting and prayer, to implore the blessing of God upon our design; and to intreat that his presence might be with us in our approach to his table.