Mary Pearce was a woman of good sense, which, mixed with grace, was exceeding amiable. She had great light as to the spiritual life, could see the state of our souls, and set them before us as clear as the sun. She was of a spirit that sympathized with every one, both in their temporal and spiritual trials. Indeed her own life was a life of trials; which, she always said, was best for her, and no more than was needful to keep her from pride, and to break her stubborn will. But she bore all her trials with sweetness of temper, and never mentioned them but to a near friend. She was a dutiful child, a tender parent, an affectionate wife, and a faithful friend. May I tread in her steps, and follow the example of her patience to the end!
Friday, December 18. I am much burthened in body, and confined by reason of my burthen. Yet, blessed be God, I have patience to bear it, and tarry his leisure. I have been much tempted to an angry zeal, against some of my unconverted relations. But I saw the snare, and was delivered. Sometimes it is a cross to go to private prayer: but I still have peace and love. In meeting my band, I saw and felt my weakness very much. Yet the Lord blessed us, while we called upon him. Lord, bless me in the approaching hour of trial. Bless what is formed in me, and, if it live in this world; may it be devoted to thy service. Sanctify her sickness to my child, that is now under thy correcting hand. Prepare her for life or for death: and may I, and all my dear children meet at thy right-hand.
Sunday 27. I see more and more, that every thing I receive, is for the sake of my dear Lord, and that I always want his precious blood, to wash and keep me clean. Blessed be his name for faith in him. I find his light discovers darkness more and more. It is a great thing to come empty to God. Lord, help me to come wholly out of myself, to come to thee, as at first I came, and to return to thee all thou givest me. And help me in the approaching trial, to glorify thy great and holy name, either by life, or by death. To me, to live be Christ, and to die be gain.
Wednesday 30. Though I was greatly burthened in body, I enjoyed much peace of mind. But I was desirous, that those who had so highly dishonoured God should be openly expelled from us. Lord, lay thy mighty hand upon them, and sink them into deep repentance, that they may cry mightily to God, that he may enable them to return to him, from whom they have so deeply revolted.
Friday, January 1, 1768. Glory be to God for his unbounded mercies to me, in the year that is past. Thanks be to God and the Lamb, that he has given me to see the beginning of another year. Whatever time I live, may I live more to his glory, than ever I have done heretofore!
Saturday 2. This day has been a day of faith, and peace, and love: and my soul has been much drawn out in prayer. Now let me expect fresh trials, after such a shower of blessings.
Sunday 3. Though I am still confined from the outward means, which are highly desirable, yet, blessed be God, I find him present with me, keeping my soul in perfect peace. But I doubt I spoke more words to-day than were to the glory of God. O let the blood of thy Son, Jesus Christ, still cleanse me from all sin!
Sunday 10. Though much disordered in body, I enjoyed much peace and love in my soul. I calmly expect the Lord to deliver me of the fruit of my womb. But I do not find any will, but to glorify God; either by life or by death.
Sunday 17. Many times I have not power to speak: but, blessed be God, I find much thankfulness for all his mercies. My desires are still strong for God and his work, and I find an increase of peace and patience. In meeting my band, and in family prayer, he blessed us in an uncommon manner. But the more blessings I receive from him, the more I see and feel of my own weakness.
*Saturday 23. When the Lord opens my hand, to relieve the want of any of his poor creatures, I find still there is need to cry to him, that I may give him all the glory. Blessed be his name, my own spirit is dying daily. Yet I sometimes find it a cross to go to private prayer; but so much the more am I blest therein. And the Lord greatly blessed us in family prayer, when I earnestly called upon him, to come and destroy inbred sin out of the hearts of those who know his pardoning love.