There is a Love clothes my Mind, while I write, which is superior to all Expressions; and I find my Heart open to encourage a holy Emulation, to advance forward in Christian Firmness. Deep Humility is a strong Bulwark; and, as we enter into it, we find Safety: The Foolishness of God is wiser than Man, and the Weakness of God is stronger than Man. Being unclothed of our own Wisdom, and knowing the Abasement of the Creature, therein we find that Power to arise, which gives Health and Vigour to us.
CHAPTER IV
His Journey to Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, and North-Carolina: Considerations on the State of Friends there; and the Exercise he was under in travelling among those so generally concerned in keeping Slaves: With some Observations in Conversation, at several Times, on this Subject—His Epistle to Friends at New-Garden and Cane-Creek—His Thoughts on the Neglect of a religious Care in the Education of the Negroes
Feeling an Exercise in Relation to a Visit to the southern Provinces, I acquainted our Monthly-meeting therewith, and obtained their Certificate: Expecting to go alone, one of my Brothers, who lived in Philadelphia, having some Business in North-Carolina, proposed going with me Part of the Way; but, as he had a View of some outward Affairs, to accept of him as a Companion seemed some Difficulty with me, whereupon I had Conversation with him at sundry Times; and, at length, feeling easy in my Mind, I had Conversation with several elderly Friends of Philadelphia on the Subject; and he obtaining a Certificate suitable to the Occasion, we set off in the fifth Month of the Year 1757; and, coming to Nottingham Week-day Meeting, lodged at John Churchman's; and here I met with our Friend Benjamin Buffington, from New-England, who was returning from a Visit to the southern Provinces. Thence we crossed the River Susquehannah, and lodged at William Cox's in Maryland; and, soon after I entered this Province, a deep and painful Exercise came upon me, which I often had some Feeling of since my Mind was drawn towards these Parts, and with which I had acquainted my Brother before we agreed to join as Companions.
As the People in this and the southern Provinces live much on the Labour of Slaves, many of whom are used hardly, my Concern was, that I might attend with Singleness of Heart to the Voice of the true Shepherd, and be so supported as to remain unmoved at the Faces of Men.
The Prospect of so weighty a Work brought me very low; and such were the Conflicts of my Soul, that I had a near Sympathy with the Prophet, in the Time of his Weakness, when he said, "If thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, if I have found Favour in thy Sight," Numb. xi. 15. But I soon saw that this proceeded from the Want of a full Resignation to the divine Will. Many were the Afflictions which attended me; and in great Abasement, with many Tears, my Cries were to the Almighty, for his gracious and Fatherly Assistance; and then, after a Time of deep Trial, I was favoured to understand the State mentioned by the Psalmist, more clearly than ever I had before; to wit: "My Soul is even as a weaned Child." Psalm cxxxi. 2. Being thus helped to sink down into Resignation, I felt a Deliverance from that Tempest in which I had been sorely exercised, and in Calmness of Mind went forward, trusting that the Lord Jesus Christ, as I faithfully attended to him, would be a Counsellor to me in all Difficulties.
The seventh Day of the fifth Month, in the Year 1757, I lodged at a Friend's House; and the next Day, being the first of the Week, was at Potapsco Meeting; then crossed Patuxent River, and lodged at a Public-house. On the ninth breakfasted at a Friend's House; who, afterward, putting us a little on our Way, I had Conversation with him, in the Fear of the Lord, concerning his Slaves; in which my Heart was tender, and I used much Plainness of Speech with him, which he appeared to take kindly. We pursued our Journey without appointing Meetings, being pressed in Mind to be at the Yearly-meeting in Virginia; and, in my travelling on the Road, I often felt a Cry rise from the Center of my Mind, thus: O Lord, I am a Stranger on the Earth, hide not thy Face from me.
On the eleventh Day of the fifth Month, we crossed the Rivers Patowmack and Rapahannock, and lodged at Port-Royal; and on the Way we happening in Company with a Colonel of the Militia, who appeared to be a thoughtful Man, I took Occasion to remark on the Difference in general betwixt a People used to labour moderately for their Living, training up their Children in Frugality and Business, and those who live on the Labour of Slaves; the former, in my View, being the most happy Life: With which he concurred, and mentioned the Trouble arising from the untoward, slothful, Disposition of the Negroes; adding, that one of our Labourers would do as much in a Day as two of their Slaves. I replied, that free Men, whose Minds were properly on their Business, found a Satisfaction in improving, cultivating, and providing for their Families; but Negroes, labouring to support others who claim them as their Property, and expecting nothing but Slavery during Life, had not the like Inducement to be industrious.