The ninth Day of the tenth Month, 1769. My Heart hath often been deeply afflicted under a Feeling I have had, that the Standard of pure Righteousness is not lifted up to the People by us, as a Society, in that Clearness which it might have been, had we been so faithful to the Teachings of Christ as we ought to have been: And, as my Mind hath been inward to the Lord, the Purity of Christ's Government hath been opened in my Understanding; and, under this Exercise, that of Friends being active in civil Society, in putting Laws in force which are not agreeable to the Purity of Righteousness, hath, for several Years, been an increasing Burthen upon me; having felt, in the Openings of universal Love, that where a People, convinced of the Truth of the inward Teachings of Christ, are active in putting Laws in Execution which are not consistent with pure Wisdom, it hath a necessary Tendency to bring Dimness over their Minds: And, as my Heart hath been thus exercised, and a tender Sympathy in me toward my Fellow-members, I have, within a few Months past, in several Meetings for Discipline, expressed my Concern on this Subject.
CHAPTER X
His preparing to visit Friends in England—His embarking at Chester, in Company with Samuel Emlen, in a Ship bound to London—His deep Exercise, in observing the Difficulties and Hardships the common Sailors are exposed to—Considerations on the Dangers to which Youth are exposed, in being trained to a sea-faring Life; and its Inconsistency with a pious Education—His Thoughts in a Storm at Sea: With many instructive Contemplations on the Voyage—And his Arrival at London
Having been some Time under a religious Concern to prepare for crossing the Seas, in order to visit Friends in the northern Parts of England, and more particularly Yorkshire; after weighty Consideration, I thought it expedient to inform Friends, at our Monthly-meeting at Burlington, of it; who, having Unity with me therein, gave me a Certificate; and I afterward communicated the same to our Quarterly-meeting, and they likewise certified their Concurrence therewith. Some Time after which, at the general Spring-meeting of Ministers and Elders, I thought it my Duty to acquaint them of the religious Exercise which attended my Mind; with which they likewise signified their Unity by a Certificate, dated the twenty-fourth Day of the third Month, 1772, directed to Friends in Great-Britain.
In the fourth Month following, I thought the Time was come for me to make some Enquiry for a suitable Conveyance; being apprehensive that, as my Concern was principally toward the northern Parts of England, it would be most proper to go in a Vessel bound to Liverpool or Whitehaven: And, while I was at Philadelphia, deliberating on this Occasion, I was informed, that my beloved Friend, Samuel Emlen, jun., intending to go to London, and having taken a Passage for himself in the Cabbin of a Ship, called Mary and Elizabeth, of which James Sparks was Master, and John Head, of the City of Philadelphia, one of the Owners; and I feeling a Draught in my Mind toward the Steerage of the same Ship, went first and opened to Samuel the Feeling I had concerning it.
My beloved Friend appeared glad that I had Thoughts of going in the Vessel with him, though my Prospect was toward the Steerage; and he, offering to go with me, we went on board, first in the Cabbin, a commodious Room, and then into the Steerage; where we sat down on a Chest, the Sailors being busy about us: Then the Owner of the Ship came, and sat down with us.
Here my Mind was turned toward Christ, the heavenly Counsellor; and I feeling, at this Time, my own Will subjected, my Heart was contrite before him.
A Motion was made, by the Owner, to go and sit in the Cabbin, as a Place more retired; but I felt easy to leave the Ship, and made no Agreement as to a Passage in her; but told the Owner, if I took a Passage in the Ship, I believed it would be in the Steerage; but did not say much as to my Exercise in that Case.