His just appreciation of the nature of meetings held for the discipline of the Church, and of the spirit in which they are to be conducted, is shown in an early part of the Diary.
3 mo. 15.--Was at our Preparative Meeting. The queries having to be answered, I was led into deep thoughtfulness respecting the same, and inwardly solicited that the Father of mercies would lend his divine aid, in the performance of such important duties; which I have reason to believe was in some measure answered, for they were gone through with a degree of ease and comfort to my own mind. May I ever keep in remembrance the testimonies of his love which are so often manifested!
8 mo. 17.--Meeting for discipline at Burton. The forepart was conducted, I think, to edification; but in the latter, one subject occupied much time unnecessarily, and did not conclude to general satisfaction. When some whose spirits are not well seasoned, speak to circumstances which they may not have sufficiently considered, it sometimes does more harm than they may at first apprehend.
The entries in the Diary at this time shew many alternations of discouragement and comfort, and of that deep searching of his own heart from which he seldom shrank, and which is the only way to the liberty and peace of the soul.
4 mo. 12.--In contemplating the gracious dealings of the Almighty with me from time to time, I have been led to query, Is it not that I might, by patiently submitting to the turnings and overturnings of his most holy hand, become fashioned to show forth his praise? But alas! where are the fruits? Is not the work rather marring as on the wheel; can I, in sincerity say, I am the clay, Thou art the potter? I feel weary of my own negligence; for it seems as if the day with me was advancing faster than the work, I fear lest I should be cast off for want of giving greater diligence to make my calling sure. O may he who is perfect in wisdom strengthen the feeble desire which remains, and melt my stubborn will into perfect obedience by the operation of his pure spirit.
In the next memoranda which we shall transcribe we see when and how his mind was imbued with the love of Scriptural inquiry and illustration. Two or three good books well read and digested in younger life often form the thinking habits of the man, and supply no small part of the substance, or at any rate the nucleus, of his knowledge. This shows the vast importance of a wise choice of authors, at the time when the mind is the most susceptible of impressions, and the most capable of appropriating the food which is presented to it. Those who knew John Yeardley will recognise the intimate connexion between these early studies and the character of his future life and ministry. If any should think his language on this or kindred subjects marked by excessive caution, they must bear in mind the comparative by unintellectual circle in which he moved.
I trust, he writes, under date of 4 mo. 28, a few of my leisure hours for two or three weeks past have been spent profitably in perusing some of A. Clarke's Notes on the Book of Genesis; and although I am fully aware that the greatest caution is necessary, when these learned men undertake to exercise their skill on the sacred text, yet I am of opinion, if used with prudence and a right spirit attended to, it may tend considerably to illustrate particular passages. I think this pious man has not only shown his profound knowledge of the learned languages, but some of his observations are so pertinent and so judiciously made, as may have a tendency to produce spiritual reflection in the mind of the reader.
5 mo. 24.--Having read with some attention Fleury's "Manners of the Israelites," by A. Clarke, I am convinced that even a slight knowledge of those ancient customs tends to facilitate the proper study of the sacred writings; for many of the metaphors so beautifully made use of by the prophets and apostles, and even our dear Redeemer himself, to convey a spiritual meaning, seem to have had an evident allusion to the antique manners and customs which I find explained in this little volume.
The commotions referred to in the reflections which follow, were no doubt the great European war which was then raging. Buonaparte, it may be remembered, was at that time making preparation for his Russian campaign, and a universal alarm prevailed as to the final result of his insatiable lust of conquest.
5 mo. 7.--In viewing the commotions of the times, it has induced me seriously to consider the great importance of procuring, as far as ability may be afforded, a free access to the never-failing source of our help; and in a little contemplating this subject I have been comforted in a hope that, if we only abide stedfast and immovable, He whom the waves of the sea obeyed will in his own time speak peace to the minds of his tossed ones, and a calm will ensue.