Towards the end of the year John Yeardley again communed with himself in the language of sorrow, but also of humble resignation. At the same time he speaks of an engagement of gospel labor from which he had then recently returned, the first which he had undertaken alone since his marriage with Martha Savory. Having seen his faithful and well-tried comrade fall by his side, he had now to learn again to gird himself and enter, as in the days of his youth, alone into the combat.
1851. 12 mo. 13.--How often have I prayed that the portion of her Lord's spirit which animated her devoted life may rest on me! Her heart, her tongue, and her pen were all employed in promoting the cause of her Divine Master, whom she delighted to serve. All my earthly joy was now gone to heaven, and I felt alone in the world; but my spirit seemed never to be separated from her: she seemed to be hovering over me constantly. My heart does sorrow for the loss of her sweet society; to me she was a wise and sound counsellor, and a never-failing consoler in all my troubles. I do mourn, but I dare not murmur. I hope my merciful Heavenly Father will keep me in the hour of temptation, and be with me in the last trying hour, and prepare me to join this precious one and all by whom she is surrounded with her God and Saviour in the centre of bliss.
I had often mentioned to my precious one a prospect of religious service in Ireland, and once since our return home from our last Continental journey; when she replied, "I have no concern to go to Ireland--thou must do that when I am taken from thee." It cost me many tears and prayers before I could be resigned to request a certificate, alone, for the first time since our union; but, looking seriously at the subject, the language was constantly in my heart, The hour cometh when no man can work. Life is uncertain, and I can only expect sustaining grace by faithfully following my Lord: and, blessed be his name, he has kept and sustained me in every trial.
This day would have been the twenty-fifth anniversary of our union. How near it has brought my precious one to me in spirit, and how strong are my prayers that my Lord may preserve me faithful to the end of the race! I can say my desire is, when he cometh, he may not find me idle.
The visit which John Yeardley made in Ireland was general, comprehending all, or nearly all, the meetings of Friends in the island, and including a few public meetings in Leinster province. He has left very few notes of this journey, except an itinerary of the places at which he stopped, but makes frequent mention of the hospitality and kindness of Friends. From Cork he writes:--
I am in the midst of a family visit to the Friends of Cork, and shall have, I expect, from ninety to a hundred sittings. I am lodged a few miles in the country, in a mansion surrounded by beautiful grounds, and all the beloved inmates most affectionate and helpful to me. They send me to my work in or about the city mostly to breakfast; and I return, in the evening, and enjoy the refreshing breezes and the quiet: but then I have the family visits to resume next morning. In riding to town to-day, I tried to raise my heart to God; when the language sweetly occurred to me, Bread shall be given thee, thy water shall be sure.--(Letter of 8 mo. 5, 1851.)
A few days after his return from Ireland, he left home again to visit the Isle of Man, in company with Barnard Dickenson. On his return, he was refreshed by a visit to Dover, where he spent three weeks in the company of his kind and sympathising friend Margaret Pope.
The interval which elapsed before the recommencement of his missionary labors was to be short. In the First Month of 1852, we find him again under exercise of mind for foreign travel; having, this time, to direct his course towards the interesting community of religious persons in Norway, whose principles and practices are the same as those of Friends. The Diary which follows is the utterance of his heart in the prospect of this work.
1852. 1 mo. 24.--This has been a precious morning unto my soul; such a season of spiritual comfort I have not been permitted to experience for a long time. I think it is vouchsafed me through the efficacy of earnest prayer, which has brought me to resignation to my Lord's will. I have now no more doubt as to Norway. Light springs on my path. How powerful is the love of God when it fills the heart; there is not a place on the Lord's earth where I think I could not go, if favored with the strength, and blessed with the presence of my God and Saviour.
Unto thee, Lord, do I commit all my concerns, spiritual and temporal; do thou give to thy unworthy servant an answer of peace. Keep me faithful and patient to the end of the race. Lord, grant that my ministry, which thou hast entrusted to me, may proceed purely and entirely from thy love, and be exercised in thy fear and under the unction of thy Holy Spirit. Lord, keep my heart fixed, on the last, last awful moment that I may have to breathe; grant that it may be breathed out in the bosom of my adorable Saviour; all sting of death taken away, my robes washed in his blood, and my spirit purified and ready to be united to those beloved ones who are already enjoying a blissful eternity with thee!