12 mo. 29, First-day.--A most remarkable season of divine favor in our evening assembly. The awe which I had felt over my spirit the whole of the day, and not feeling freedom to break my mind in the meeting in the morning, induced me to look to the evening opportunity with fear and trembling, which indeed is always the case when I feel the Master's hand upon me. The most solemn act of worship, that of public supplication, so powerfully impressed my mind, that I believed it right to yield to the motion, which I humbly trust was done in due reverence and humility of soul. Our spirits were so humbled under feelings of good that it seemed as if the secrets of all hearts were presented before the throne of grace, to ask forgiveness for former transgressions, strength to serve the Most High with more acceptance, and to be finally prepared to reign with him in glory. O how these seasons of refreshing will rise up against us in the great day of account, if we are not concerned to improve by them! Grant, dearest Father, that I may experience a nearer and stronger tie to do thy will more perfectly; and let it please thee to remember those in this place and this land for whom my spirit so often secretly mourns and prays.
The Diary of 1823 opens with a profound and solemn reflection.
1823. 1 mo. 4.--For want of faith we are too much inclined to serve ourselves before we are willing to serve the Great Master, thinking we may be able to do much for him afterwards, when it will more accord with our situation in life. But, alas! this time may never come; if we thus put by the acceptable season, our lives may close with our only having performed very imperfectly the part which had been designed for us in the Church militant. Painful would be the sting when appealing to the Judge of the earth, in a moment when we no longer possessed the capability of serving him, should the declaration be, Thou hadst a desire to serve me when in health and strength, but thou wished first to serve thyself. My time was not then thy time, therefore thy time is not now my time.
A letter to his brother, written in the summer of this year (6 mo. 9), gives a description of the mode of bleaching in use in Germany, which will, we believe, be interesting to the English reader. John Yeardley says:
Wilt thou not be surprised when I tell thee that I am about to commence yarn-bleaching? Thou mayst be sure there is a pretty certain prospect of considerable advantages, with not much risk, to induce me to make the attempt. The advantages are threefold--safety, expedition and cheapness. The first consists in the simplicity of treatment and safety of the ingredients, no chemical process being made use of; the second arises from the heat of the climate; the last is easily accounted for from the low price of labor and the cheapness of the raw material, which is produced in abundance in the neighborhood. In the country around, for a very considerable distance, almost every family make their own linen; they grow or buy the flax, spin the yarn and get it woven, and either bleach it themselves or send it to others who have better conveniences in water, &c. As the spring commenced, I noticed these little bleaching-plots wherever I went, and often wondered that the color was so good. Knowing that such people could not possibly be at any great expense or risk in the operation, I concluded it must be done by dint of time and labor, supposing that the yarn and cloth must lie at least a few months on the grass; but, on inquiry, I was surprised to find it was made quite white in three weeks or a month. To make a further proof, I sent two bundles of yarn to two different places to bleach; it is now returned of a very good color and perfectly strong, though it has been in blenching only a month and two or three days, and although the greater part of the Fifth Month has been unfavorable for bleaching. As to any risk of the yarn being tendered, it is quite out of the question; it seems to be done by the operation that nature points out. I have found a very convenient place For the purpose of making trial; there is plenty of good clear water. There is a prospect of having honest workpeople, and at very reasonable wages--not more than 6d. or 8d. a day; there are many honest creatures to be had at these wages who have nothing in the world to do.
From the first of my leaving England, I had no expectation of being liberated from this country before the expiration of about four years, and I have always been desirous that something should turn up that would afford me support by suitable employment; so that what I have now in view does not seem to clash with my former prospects. It is (he adds with affectionate feeling) a source of great consolation that I can always unbosom my mind so freely to thee; and I consider it among the greatest blessings I enjoy, that thou hast never yet failed of being made an instrument of support to me, and my prayer is that thou mayst never lose thy reward.
Pyrmont is one of the oldest watering-places north of the Alps. The inhabitants are very much dependent on the visitors who resort thither during the three summer months, and amongst whom may frequently be reckoned some of the first families in Europe. This year, 1823, the Prince and Princess of Prussia (the present Regent of Prussia and his consort) were there, and one Fourth-day morning attended the Friends' Meeting. The meeting-house stands in one of the allées, and although its position is not central, it is sufficiently public to be an object of attraction to the curiosity of strangers. A memorandum under date of the 18th of the Sixth Month records the royal visit, and John Yeardley's spiritual exercise on the occasion.
6 mo. 18.--To-day the young prince and Princess of Prussia, with the Princess their mother, and the Hofmeister, have been at our Fourth-day meeting. They entered with such seriousness on their countenances that I felt my spirit suddenly drawn towards them in love, and a secret prayer was raised in my heart for their everlasting good. Feeling the influence of divine love to increase, I believed it right to kneel down, and in brokenness of spirit I expressed what had opened on my mind, which afforded me peace; and I hope good to others was imparted, although I may say through the unworthiest of instruments. For truly I have for some time been as in a state of death and darkness, owing to my unwatchfulness. O what would I give for more circumspection, that I might be more prepared to receive the word, and when command is given, publish the same. But, unworthy creature, I often deprive myself and others of seasons of good through my negligence and barrenness. When will the time come when I can say, all earthly things are under my feet, and the cause of religion and virtue rules predominant in my heart! Lord, hasten the day; and preserve my feet in thy path in the midst of many snares; and rather let me die than be suffered to do anything which would dishonor thy gracious and holy Name, and the profession I am making of thee before the world. Loose my bands, and enable me to say in sincerity of heart, I am willing to serve thee freely.
With the cause for self-condemnation, which is alluded to in this entry was no doubt connected the neglect to keep up his Diary; no entry occurs for more than five months previous. It was probably much more difficult in the position which he occupied in Germany to maintain a spirit of watchfulness and self-recollection than among his more experienced Friends in Yorkshire. There is an allusion to this in an entry of a little later date.
7 mo. 8.--My mind feels a little more gathered than it has been for some time past; but the little outward difficulties which are continually arising have a great tendency to disperse the best feelings. I think it is almost the greatest lesson that we have to learn, to stand so fast in times of trouble as not to suffer loss. If we would so conduct ourselves that the change of times and seasons should not have such an unfavorable influence on our minds, this would be one great point gained; it would enable us to meet the difficulties of the day in a better state to combat with them.