ON THE IRISH CLUB. 1733[1]
Ye paltry underlings of state,
Ye senators who love to prate;
Ye rascals of inferior note,
Who, for a dinner, sell a vote;
Ye pack of pensionary peers,
Whose fingers itch for poets' ears;
Ye bishops, far removed from saints,
Why all this rage? Why these complaints?
Why against printers all this noise?
This summoning of blackguard boys?
Why so sagacious in your guesses?
Your effs, and tees, and arrs, and esses!
Take my advice; to make you safe,
I know a shorter way by half.
The point is plain; remove the cause;
Defend your liberties and laws.
Be sometimes to your country true,
Have once the public good in view:
Bravely despise champagne at court,
And choose to dine at home with port:
Let prelates, by their good behaviour,
Convince us they believe a Saviour;
Nor sell what they so dearly bought,
This country, now their own, for nought.
Ne'er did a true satiric muse
Virtue or innocence abuse;
And 'tis against poetic rules
To rail at men by nature fools:
But * * *
* * * *
[Footnote 1: In the Dublin Edition, 1729—Scott.]
ON NOISY TOM. HORACE, PART OF BOOK I, SAT. VI, PARAPHRASED, 1733
If Noisy Tom[1] should in the senate prate,
"That he would answer both for church and state;
And, farther, to demonstrate his affection,
Would take the kingdom into his protection;"
All mortals must be curious to inquire,
Who could this coxcomb be, and who his sire?
"What! thou, the spawn of him[2] who shamed our isle,
Traitor, assassin, and informer vile!
Though by the female side,[3] you proudly bring,
To mend your breed, the murderer of a king:
What was thy grandsire,[4] but a mountaineer,
Who held a cabin for ten groats a-year:
Whose master Moore[5] preserved him from the halter,
For stealing cows! nor could he read the Psalter!
Durst thou, ungrateful, from the senate chase
Thy founder's grandson,[6] and usurp his place?
Just Heaven! to see the dunghill bastard brood
Survive in thee, and make the proverb good?[7]
Then vote a worthy citizen to jail,[8]
In spite of justice, and refuse his bail!"[9]
[Footnote 1: Sir Thomas Prendergast. See post, p. 266.]
[Footnote 2: The father of Sir Thomas Prendergast, who engaged in a plot
to murder King William III; but, to avoid being hanged, turned informer
against his associates, for which he was rewarded with a good estate, and
made a baronet.—F.]
[Footnote 3: Cadogan's family.—F.]
[Footnote 4: A poor thieving cottager under Mr. Moore, condemned at
Clonmel assizes to be hanged for stealing cows.—F.]
[Footnote 5: The grandfather of Guy Moore, Esq., who procured him a
pardon.—F.]
[Footnote 6: Guy Moore was fairly elected member of Parliament for
Clonmel; but Sir Thomas, depending upon his interest with a certain party
then prevailing, and since known by the title of parson-hunters,
petitioned the House against him; out of which he was turned upon
pretence of bribery, which the paying of his lawful debts was then voted
to be.—F.]
[Footnote 7: "Save a thief from the gallows, and he will cut your
throat."—F.]
[Footnote 8: Mr. George Faulkner. Mr. Sergeant Bettesworth, a member of
the Irish Parliament, having made a complaint to the House of Commons
against the "Satire on Quadrille," they voted Faulkner the printer into
custody (who was confined closely in prison three days, when he was in a
very bad state of health, and his life in much danger) for not
discovering the author.—F.]
[Footnote 9: Among the poems, etc., preserved by Mr. Smith are verses on
the same subject and person with these in the text. The verses are given
in Swift's works, edit. Scott, xii, 448.—W. E. B.]