For instance; let any man seriously consider what numbers there are of incurable fools, incurable knaves, incurable scolds, incurable scribblers, (besides myself,) incurable coxcombs, incurable infidels, incurable liars, incurable whores, in all places of public resort:—not to mention the incurably vain, incurably envious, incurably proud, incurably affected, incurably impertinent, and ten thousand other incurables, which I must of necessity pass over in silence, lest I should swell this essay into a volume. And without doubt, every unprejudiced person will agree, that, out of mere Christian charity, the public ought to be eased as much as possible of this troublesome and intolerable variety of incurables.
And first, Under the denomination of incurable fools, we may reasonably expect, that such an hospital would be furnished with considerable numbers of the growth of our own universities; who, at present, appear in various professions in the world, under the venerable titles of physicians, barristers, and ecclesiastics.
And as those ancient seminaries have been, for some years past, accounted little better than nurseries of such sort of incurables, it should seem highly commendable to make some kind of provision for them; because it is more than probable, that, if they are to be supported by their own particular merit in their several callings, they must necessarily acquire but a very indifferent maintenance.
I would not, willingly, be here suspected to cast reflections on any order of men, as if I thought that small gains from the profession of any art or science, were always an undoubted sign of an equally small degree of understanding; for I profess myself to be somewhat inclined to a very opposite opinion, having frequently observed, that at the bar, the pulse, and the pulpit, those who have the least learning or sense to plead, meet generally with the largest share of promotions and profit: of which many instances might be produced; but the public seems to want no conviction in this particular.
Under the same denominations we may further expect a large and ridiculous quantity of old rich widows; whose eager and impatient appetites inflame them with extravagant passions for fellows of a very different age and complexion from themselves; who purchase contempt and aversion with good jointures; and being loaded with years, infirmities, and probably ill humour, are forced to bribe into their embraces such whose fortunes and characters are equally desperate.
Besides, our collection of incurable fools would receive an incredible addition from every one of the following articles.
From young extravagant heirs; who are just of a competent age to become the bubbles of jockeys, sportsmen, gamesters, bullies, sharpers, courtesans, and such sort of honourable pickpockets.
From misers; who half starve themselves to feed the prodigality of their heirs, and who proclaim to the world how unworthy they are of possessing estates, by the wretched and ridiculous methods they take to enjoy them.
From contentious people, of all conditions; who are content to waste the greatest part of their own fortunes at law, to be the instruments of impoverishing others.
From those who have any confidence in profession of friendship, before trial; or any dependence on the fidelity of a mistress.