That man must daily wiser grow,
Whose search is bent himself to know;
Impartially he weighs his scope,
And on firm reason founds his hope;
He tries his strength before the race,
And never seeks his own disgrace;
He knows the compass, sail, and oar,
Or never launches from the shore;
Before he builds, computes the cost;
And in no proud pursuit is lost:
_10
He learns the bounds of human sense,
And safely walks within the fence.
Thus, conscious of his own defect,
Are pride and self-importance check'd.
If then, self-knowledge to pursue,
Direct our life in every view,
Of all the fools that pride can boast,
A coxcomb claims distinction most.
Coxcombs are of all ranks and kind:
They're not to sex or age confined,
_20
Or rich, or poor, or great, or small;
And vanity besets them all.
By ignorance is pride increased:
Those most assume who know the least;
Their own false balance gives them weight,
But every other finds them light.
Not that all coxcombs' follies strike,
And draw our ridicule alike;
To different merits each pretends.
This in love-vanity transcends;
_30
That smitten with his face and shape,
By dress distinguishes the ape;
T'other with learning crams his shelf,
Knows books, and all things but himself.
All these are fools of low condition,
Compared with coxcombs of ambition.
For those, puffed up with flattery, dare
Assume a nation's various care.
They ne'er the grossest praise mistrust,
Their sycophants seem hardly just;
_40
For these, in part alone, attest
The flattery their own thoughts suggest.
In this wide sphere a coxcomb's shown
In other realms beside his own:
The self-deemed Machiavel at large
By turns controls in every charge.
Does commerce suffer in her rights?
'Tis he directs the naval flights.
What sailor dares dispute his skill?
He'll be an admiral when he will.
_50
Now meddling in the soldier's trade,
Troops must be hired, and levies made.
He gives ambassadors their cue,
His cobbled treaties to renew;
And annual taxes must suffice
The current blunders to disguise
When his crude schemes in air are lost,
And millions scarce defray the cost,
His arrogance (nought undismayed)
Trusting in self-sufficient aid,
_60
On other rocks misguides the realm,
And thinks a pilot at the helm.
He ne'er suspects his want of skill,
But blunders on from ill to ill;
And, when he fails of all intent,
Blames only unforeseen event.
Lest you mistake the application,
The fable calls me to relation.
A bear of shag and manners rough,
At climbing trees expert enough;
_70
For dextrously, and safe from harm,
Year after year he robbed the swarm.
Thus thriving on industrious toil,
He gloried in his pilfered spoil.
This trick so swelled him with conceit,
He thought no enterprise too great.
Alike in sciences and arts,
He boasted universal parts;
Pragmatic, busy, bustling, bold,
His arrogance was uncontrolled:
_80
And thus he made his party good,
And grew dictator of the wood.
The beasts with admiration stare,
And think him a prodigious bear.
Were any common booty got,
'Twas his each portion to allot:
For why, he found there might be picking,
Even in the carving of a chicken.
Intruding thus, he by degrees
Claimed too the butcher's larger fees.
_90
And now his over-weening pride
In every province will preside.
No talk too difficult was found:
His blundering nose misleads the hound.
In stratagem and subtle arts,
He overrules the fox's parts.
It chanced, as, on a certain day,
Along the bank he took his way,
A boat, with rudder, sail, and oar,
At anchor floated near the shore.
_100
He stopp'd, and turning to his train,
Thus pertly vents his vaunting strain:
'What blundering puppies are mankind,
In every science always blind!
I mock the pedantry of schools.
What are their compasses and rules?
From me that helm shall conduct learn.
And man his ignorance discern.'
So saying, with audacious pride,
He gains the boat, and climbs the side.
_110
The beasts astonished, lined the strand,
The anchor's weighed, he drives from land:
The slack sail shifts from side to side;
The boat untrimmed admits the tide,
Borne down, adrift, at random toss'd,
His oar breaks short, the rudder's lost.
The bear, presuming in his skill,
Is here and there officious still;
Till striking on the dangerous sands,
Aground the shattered vessel stands.
_120
To see the bungler thus distress'd,
The very fishes sneer and jest.
Even gudgeons join in ridicule,
To mortify the meddling fool.
The clamorous watermen appear;
Threats, curses, oaths, insult his ear:
Seized, thrashed, and chained, he's dragged to land;
Derision shouts along the strand.
* * * * *
FABLE VI.
THE SQUIRE AND HIS CUR.
TO A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN.
The man of pure and simple heart
Through life disdains a double part.
He never needs the screen of lies
His inward bosom to disguise.
In vain malicious tongues assail;
Let envy snarl, let slander rail,
From virtue's shield (secure from wound)
Their blunted, venomed shafts rebound.
So shines his light before mankind,
His actions prove his honest mind.
_10
If in his country's cause he rise,
Debating senates to advise,
Unbribed, unawed, he dares impart
The honest dictates of his heart.
No ministerial frown he fears,
But in his virtue perseveres.
But would you play the politician,
Whose heart's averse to intuition,
Your lips at all times, nay, your reason
Must be controlled by place and season.
_20
What statesman could his power support
Were lying tongues forbid the court?
Did princely ears to truth attend,
What minister could gain his end?
How could he raise his tools to place,
And how his honest foes disgrace?
That politician tops his part,
Who readily can lie with art:
The man's proficient in his trade;
His power is strong, his fortune's made.
_30
By that the interest of the throne
Is made subservient to his own:
By that have kings of old, deluded,
All their own friends for his excluded.
By that, his selfish schemes pursuing,
He thrives upon the public ruin.
Antiochus,[8] with hardy pace,
Provoked the dangers of the chase;
And, lost from all his menial train,
Traversed the wood and pathless plain.
_40
A cottage lodged the royal guest!
The Parthian clown brought forth his best.
The king, unknown, his feast enjoyed,
And various chat the hours employed.
From wine what sudden friendship springs!
Frankly they talked of courts and kings.
'We country-folks,' the clown replies,
'Could ope our gracious monarch's eyes.
The king, (as all our neighbours say,)
Might he (God bless him) have his way,
_50
Is sound at heart, and means our good,
And he would do it, if he could.
If truth in courts were not forbid,
Nor kings nor subjects would be rid.
Were he in power, we need not doubt him:
But that transferred to those about him,
On them he throws the regal cares:
And what mind they? Their own affairs.
If such rapacious hands he trust,
The best of men may seem unjust.
_60
From kings to cobblers 'tis the same:
Bad servants wound their master's fame.
In this our neighbours all agree:
Would the king knew as much as we.'
Here he stopp'd short. Repose they sought,
The peasant slept, the monarch thought.
The courtiers learned, at early dawn,
Where their lost sovereign was withdrawn.
The guards' approach our host alarms,
With gaudy coats the cottage swarms.
_70
The crown and purple robes they bring,
And prostrate fall before the king.
The clown was called, the royal guest
By due reward his thanks express'd.
The king then, turning to the crowd,
Who fawningly before him bow'd,
Thus spoke: 'Since, bent on private gain,
Your counsels first misled my reign,
Taught and informed by you alone,
No truth the royal ear hath known,
_80
Till here conversing. Hence, ye crew,
For now I know myself and you.'
Whene'er the royal ear's engross'd,
State-lies but little genius cost.
The favourite then securely robs,
And gleans a nation by his jobs.
Franker and bolder grown in ill,
He daily poisons dares instil;
And, as his present views suggest,
Inflames or soothes the royal breast.
_90
Thus wicked ministers oppress,
When oft the monarch means redress.
Would kings their private subjects hear,
A minister must talk with fear.
If honesty opposed his views,
He dared not innocence excuse.
'Twould keep him in such narrow bound,
He could not right and wrong confound.
Happy were kings, could they disclose
Their real friends and real foes!
_100
Were both themselves and subjects known,
A monarch's will might be his own.
Had he the use of ears and eyes,
Knaves would no more be counted wise.
But then a minister might lose
(Hard case!) his own ambitious views.
When such as these have vexed a state,
Pursued by universal hate,
Their false support at once hath failed,
And persevering truth prevailed.
_110
Exposed their train of fraud is seen;
Truth will at last remove the screen.
A country squire, by whim directed,
The true stanch dogs of chase neglected.
Beneath his board no hound was fed,
His hand ne'er stroked the spaniel's head.
A snappish cur, alone caress'd,
By lies had banished all the rest.
Yap had his ear; and defamation
Gave him full scope of conversation.
_120
His sycophants must be preferr'd,
Room must be made for all his herd:
Wherefore, to bring his schemes about,
Old faithful servants all must out.
The cur on every creature flew,
(As other great men's puppies do,)
Unless due court to him were shown,
And both their face and business known,
No honest tongue an audience found:
He worried all the tenants round;
_130
For why, he lived in constant fear,
Lest truth, by chance, should interfere.
If any stranger dare intrude,
The noisy cur his heels pursued.
Now fierce with rage, now struck with dread,
At once he snarled, bit, and fled.
Aloof he bays, with bristling hair,
And thus in secret growls his fear:
'Who knows but truth, in this disguise,
May frustrate my best-guarded lies?
_140
Should she (thus masked) admittance find,
That very hour my ruin's signed.'
Now, in his howl's continued sound,
Their words were lost, their voice was drown'd.
Ever in awe of honest tongues,
Thus every day he strained his lungs.
It happened, in ill-omened hour,
That Yap, unmindful of his power,
Forsook his post, to love inclined;
A favourite bitch was in the wind.
_150
By her seduced, in amorous play,
They frisked the joyous hours away.
Thus, by untimely love pursuing,
Like Antony, he sought his ruin.
For now the squire, unvexed with noise,
An honest neighbour's chat enjoys.
'Be free,' says he, 'your mind impart;
I love a friendly open heart.
Methinks my tenants shun my gate;
Why such a stranger grown of late?
_160
Pray tell me what offence they find:
'Tis plain they're not so well inclined.'
'Turn off your cur,' the farmer cries,
'Who feeds your ear with daily lies.
His snarling insolence offends; 165
'Tis he that keeps you from your friends.
Were but that saucy puppy check'd,
You'd find again the same respect.
Hear only him, he'll swear it too,
That all our hatred is to you.
_170
But learn from us your true estate;
'Tis that cursed cur alone we hate.'
The squire heard truth. Now Yap rushed in;
The wide hall echoes with his din:
Yet truth prevailed; and with disgrace,
The dog was cudgelled out of place.
* * * * *