"Here, draw it mild, young porridge-pot. There's two to one against you: mind that, you red herring!"
"I'll mind more than that, if I am the son of a Scot, which is no great disgrace, after all," replied Sandy jeeringly. "But look here and listen, chiels. I'll tell you a story—
"Once upon a time, when pigs were called swine an' monkeys chewed tobacco, there lived a bully English captain, the commander of a man o' war. This frigate, sailing up the channel on her return from foreign parts, sighted a French ship, not more'n about twice her size. Instead of closing with the Frenchy slap bang, an' givin' her what-for, she turned tail an' showed her a clean pair of heels. This outrageous proceeding on the part of a British sea-dog demanded instant investigation, and so the jolly captain was promptly court-martialled. After the case had been put by the prosecuting officer, and not denied by the prisoner, he was asked by the president of the court why he did not engage the enemy. The captain, in reply, said that he had ten reasons. 'Name them,' says the boss officer. 'The first is: I had no powder; it was all used up.' 'Enuf sed,' sings out the judge. 'We don't want the other nine. You're discharged, my man, without a stain on your character.'"
"Oh, that's all right for a yarn," cried Joe; "but I want to know what it's got to do with your father's message to Nosey?"
"Just as much as it's got to do with the grass of a duck in a forty-acre paddock," jeered Sandy.
"It's a story with a moral, boys; and as Captain Kettle—no, I mean Cuttle, says in that book of Dickens, the moral of the story lies in the application."
"Apply it, my wise man."
"Here then: old Nosey has ten reasons for not gettin' a written message."
"Name the first!"
"He can't read."