“I can’t say that my bodily health was ever better, or that I ever felt stronger, tho’ to be sure I am not growing younger; but then every one is telling me how deformed I am grown of late, and this tumour—which I have had from my infancy—is all a mass of Corruption.”

Grey, while indicating his colleagues, Althorp and Russell, says in reply, “This deformity is quite inconsistent, believe me, with the nature of your Constitution, and therefore must be got rid of. I will undertake, with your approbation, to remove it, and my assistant, Doctor Russell here, will prepare you for the operation.”

Russell is observing, “I once thought that a case of this description ought to be treated with great caution, and even wrote, as well as talked, a great deal about it, but now I am quite of a different opinion. I think there is nothing like cutting away thro’ thick and thin!”

Sir Robert Peel, one of the dismissed doctors, on mature consideration, is inclined to question his past policy: “Yet I begin to think we could have done better, when we found him determined to think that his Constitution was impaired, to have tried, just in the way of soothing, a gentle alternative course.”

Dr. Wellington is still of his old opinion: “I say that the man has no defect in his Constitution, and that what they call Corruption is necessary to his existence; but now, because he would not believe me, but chose rather to submit to the experiments of those rash operators, Wharncliffe, who is a sensible man, lays all the blame on me.”

The lively proceedings while the returns were preparing were fittingly epitomized by HB as “May Day” (May 4, 1831), setting forth as a “Jack-in-the-Green” performance the new revels of the revisers of the constitution. The king occupies the green, which is topped by a crown, and bears the word “Reform;” the face of William IV. is peeping through the aperture. Earl Grey is “My Lord;” Sir Francis Burdett is almost equally conspicuous. Hobhouse, Hume, and O’Connell are making a good deal of rough music with shovels, and Russell has the Pandean pipes and big drum, on which he is vigorously performing. Lord Brougham, as “My Lady,” is going round with the ladle; he is interrogated by the Duke of Cumberland and Lord Eldon as to the “Man in the Green.” The Duke of Gloucester and Lord Londonderry, among the audience, are regarding “My Lady” with suspicion.

The second portion of the new tactics is developed as “Leap-Frog on a Level; or, Going Headlong to the Devil” (May 6, 1831). The turn of the Reformers has come, and the Radicals are making them submit to the same process as they lately inflicted on the Tories. Carlile is rolling over a churchman to the place of torment, having leaped a trifle too far; the Evil One, as he declares in person, “has come to end your games.” “The Devil you are,” says the author of the tracts. Sir Francis Burdett is unwillingly giving a back, “Have I stooped for this?” His old ally, “Porcupine” Cobbett, is leaping heavily on to the baronet’s shoulders, “My turn now, old Glory.” Grey is staggering while Hunt is “overing” him: “I begin to think this is a very disorderly game.” The mob are shouting, “Go it, Hunt,” which is displeasing to the now elevated orator: “D—— the Rabble, they take me for one of themselves.” Brougham is brought to his knees: “Hullo! you’ll have off my wig;” O’Connell, firmly seated on the chancellor’s back, is crying, “Oh! never mind; I’ll take care of that!” The king is brought to the earth; “This is the levelling system with a vengeance.” He is overturned by Hume, who is exclaiming, “This summing-up is the tottle of the whole.”

Hume
on Lord King.		Dan O’Connell
on Lord Brougham.		Orator Hunt
on Lord Grey.		W. Cobbett
on Sir Francis Burdett.		R. Carlile.

LEAP-FROG ON A LEVEL; OR, GOING HEADLONG TO THE DEVIL. MAY 6, 1831. BY J. DOYLE (HB).