Lord Durham has his allotted share:—
“Saving-Banks, the Funds, and Rent,
Insurances and money lent,
Orphans’ Claims, and widows’ pittance,
Throw them in, to make a quittance.”
Lords Althorp and Russell are acting as the chorus:—
“Round about the cauldron go,
In the Constitution throw.”
The king is unexpectedly surprising the incantation. He is dumbfounded; the charm is already active, and away flies his crown. He is girt with a scarf, “Repentance,” and apostrophizes his reform friends:—
“Filthy Hags!
Infected be the air whereon they ride,
And damn’d all those that trust them.”
“A Tale of a Tub—and the Moral of the Tail!” (June 13, 1831) is another view of the critical juncture, as it was then assumed to be. The old constitutional ship is left for the whale-boat. The monster is in such dangerous proximity that a dash from its tail—while splashing “popular spray” over its would-be captors—threatens a fatal catastrophe. Lord Althorp has thrown over a pretty considerable tub, “Vested Interests and Chartered Rights;” “There,” he is made to exclaim, “amiable monster! In order to please you, we have thrown you all! Should you require more, you must only take ourselves.” Lord Grey is steering; Lords Brougham, Holland, and Durham have the oars. The king, wearing his naval uniform, is trying to keep the crown from falling overboard; he is evidently apprehensive of the worst: “But why approach so near the tail—the good-natured monster may, without meaning any harm, upset us all in one of his gambols!” The man at the helm is reassuring his chief: “My reasons for steering are pretty plain, tho’ fortunately for me some people don’t see them. It is by flattering the tail, that I command the head!” Lord Brougham, “the schoolmaster abroad,” is imparting this useful piece of knowledge: “It has been discovered in the march of Intellect, that the Tail often outstrips the Head!” Wellington and Peel have stuck to the ship; the latter is still of opinion that he ought to have made an effort to retain his post: “Yet I can’t but think we might have succeeded in amusing it for a long time with a very small Keg.” Wellington is less confident: “I tell you, Bob, the Monster is not to be satisfied!”
Other allusions of a seasonable character were also produced by Doyle, apropos of the tendency of the epoch. One of the best is selected among many, “Varnishing—a Sign (of the Times)” (June 1, 1831). The sign of the King’s Head is undergoing renovation; Lord Brougham, in his chancellor’s robes, is mounted on a ladder, and employed in touching up the royal countenance with a pot of varnish. “I think that, considering I was not bred to the trade, I am not a bad hand at bedaubing a King. After all, to produce effect, I find there is nothing like plenty of varnish.” Lord Grey, from an open window, is surveying with marked satisfaction his colleague’s work. “Canning used to talk about a Red Lion; but I say that, in our reforming times, there is no such sign for a (re) publican as a King’s Head, although a Star and Garter is not to be despised!”
The somewhat well-worn subject of the hustings is also treated pictorially amongst the cartoons which appeared during the elections. One version is entitled, “The Rival Mount-O’-Bankes; or, the Dorsetshire Juggler” (May 25, 1831). The scene of the hustings is again travestied as a fair. “Bankes and Co.’s Old-Established Booth” is left quite deserted; a pillar of the Church is the solitary patron. “If our friends don’t come up faster, we may shut up shop,” says the showman; while his assistant is declaring, in allusion to the success of the rival show, “This Juggler is juggling all our customers away from us!” The “Nonpareil Juggler” has, in fact, monopolized all the custom. Lord Grey is the showman; he is holding forth his programme to the numerous patrons: “The Bill, the whole Bill, and nothing but the Bill of the Performance of the Nonpareil Calcraft.” The showman, “Grey, Licensed Dealer in Curiosities,” is pointing to a glowing picture of the entertainment to be seen within—Calcraft, in the very act of swallowing a lengthy speech dead against the principles of the reform party as represented by Lord Grey; he is described as “Lately exhibited in the metropolis by Monsieur Villainton, with unheard-of success.” The customers are thus exhorted:—
