It has been a singular happiness to me, and a proof, I believe, of a radically good constitution, that I have always slept well, and have awaked with my faculties perfectly vigorous, without any disposition to drowsiness. Also, whenever I have been fatigued with any kind of exertion, I could at any time sit down and sleep; and whatever cause of anxiety I may have had, I have almost always lost sight of it when I have got to bed; and I have generally fallen asleep as soon as I have been warm.[20]
I even think it an advantage to me, and am truly thankful for it, that my health received the check that it did when I was young; since a muscular habit from high health, and strong spirits, are not, I think, in general accompanied with that sensibility of mind, which is both favourable to piety, and to speculative pursuits.[21]
[20] My father was an early riser. He never slept more than six hours. He said he did not remember having lost a whole night’s sleep but once, though when awake he often had to suffer much from pain and sickness as well as from other circumstances of a very afflictive nature.
[21] Though not a muscular man he went through great exertion at various times of his life with activity. He walked very firmly, and expeditiously.
To a fundamentally good constitution of body, and the being who gave it me, I owe an even chearfulness of temper, which has had but few interruptions. This I inherit from my father, who had uniformly better spirits than any man that I ever knew, and by this means was as happy towards the close of life, when reduced to poverty, and dependent upon others, as in his best days; and who, I am confident, would not have been unhappy, as I have frequently heard him say, in a workhouse.
Though my readers will easily suppose that, in the course of a life so full of vicissitude as mine has been, many things must have occurred to mortify and discompose me, nothing has ever depressed my mind beyond a very short period. My spirits have never failed to recover their natural level, and I have frequently observed, and at first with some surprize, that the most perfect satisfaction I have ever felt has been a day or two after an event that afflicted me the most, and without any change having taken place in the state of things. Having found this to be the case after many of my troubles, the persuasion that it would be so, after a new cause of uneasiness, has never failed to lessen the effect of its first impression, and together with my firm belief of the doctrine of necessity, (and consequently that of every thing being ordered for the best) has contributed to that degree of composure which I have enjoyed through life, so that I have always considered myself as one of the happiest of men.
When I was a young author, (though I did not publish any thing until I was about thirty) strictures on my writings gave me some disturbance, though I believe even then less than they do most others; but after some time, things of that kind hardly affected me at all, and on this account I may be said to have been well formed for public controversy.[22] But what has always made me easy in any controversy in which I have been engaged, has been my fixed resolution frankly to acknowledge any mistake that I might perceive I had fallen into. That I have never been in the least backward to do this in matters of philosophy, can never be denied.
[22] Though Dr. Priestley has been considered as fond of controversy and that his chief delight consisted in it, yet it is far from being true. He was more frequently the defendant than the assailant. His controversies as far as it depended upon himself were carried to with temper and decency. He was never malicious nor even sarcastic or indignant unless provoked.
T. C.
As I have not failed to attend to the phenomena of my own mind, as well as to those of other parts of nature, I have not been insensible of some great defects, as well as some advantages, attending its constitution; having from an early period been subject to a most humbling failure of recollection, so that I have sometimes lost all ideas of both persons and things, that I have been conversant with. I have so completely forgotten what I have myself published, that in reading my own writings, what I find in them often appears perfectly new to me, and I have more than once made experiments the results of which had been published by me.