I have also applied to myself what Jacob said on his return from Padan Aram. “With my staff I went over this Jordan, and now I am become two bands;” when I consider how little I carried with me to Needham and Nantwich, how much more I had to carry to Warrington, how much more still to Leeds, how much more than that to Calne, and then to Birmingham.
Yet, frequently as I have changed my situation, and always for the better, I can truly say that I never wished for any change on my own account. I should have been contented even at Needham, if I could have been unmolested, and had bare necessaries. This freedom from anxiety was remarkable in my father, and therefore is in a manner hereditary to me; but it has been much increased by reflection; having frequently observed, especially with respect to christian ministers, how often it has contributed to embitter their lives, without being of any use to them. Some attention to the improvement of a man’s circumstances is, no doubt, right, because no man can tell what occasion he may have for money, especially if he have children, and therefore I do not recommend my example to others. But I am thankful to that good providence which always took more care of me than I ever took of myself.
Hitherto I have had great reason to be thankful with respect to my children, as they have a prospect of enjoying a good share of health, and a sufficient capacity for performing the duties of their stations. They have also good dispositions, and as much as could be expected at their age, a sense of religion. But as I hope they will live to see this work, I say the less on this subject, and I hope they will consider what I say in their favour as an incitement to exert themselves to act a christian and useful part in life; that the care that I and their mother have taken of their instruction may not be lost upon them, and that they may secure a happy meeting with us in a better world.
I esteem it a singular happiness to have lived in an age and country, in which I have been at full liberty both to investigate, and by preaching and writing to propagate, religious truth; that though the freedom I have used for this purpose was for some time disadvantageous to me, it was not long so, and that my present situation is such that I can with the greatest openness urge whatever appears to me to be the truth of the gospel, not only without giving the least offence, but with the intire approbation of those with whom I am particularly connected.
As to the dislike which I have drawn upon myself by my writings, whether that of the Calvinistic party, in or out of the church of England, those who rank with rational dissenters (but who have been exceedingly offended at my carrying my inquiries farther than they wished any person to do) or whether they be unbelievers, I am thankful that it gives less disturbance to me than it does to themselves; and that their dislike is much more than compensated by the cordial esteem and approbation of my conduct by a few, whose minds are congenial to my own, and especially that the number of such persons increases.
[Birmingham, 1787.
A Continuation of the Memoirs, written at Northumberland in America in the beginning of the year 1795.
When I wrote the preceding part of these Memoirs I was happy as must have appeared in the course of them, in the prospect of spending the remainder of my life at Birmingham, where I had every advantage for pursuing my studies, both philosophical and theological; but it pleased the sovereign disposer of all things to appoint for me other removals, and the manner in which they were brought about were more painful to me than the removals themselves. I am far, however, from questioning the wisdom or the goodness of the appointments respecting myself or others.
To resume the account of my pursuits where the former part of the Memoirs left it, I must observe that, in the prosecution of my experiments, I was led to maintain the doctrine of phlogiston against Mr. Lavoisier and other chemists in France, whose opinions were adopted not only by almost all the philosophers of that country, but by those in England and Scotland also. My friends, however, of the lunar society were never satisfied with the Anti-phlogistic doctrine. My experiments and observations on this subject were published in various papers in the Philosophical Transactions. At Birmingham I also published a new edition of my publications on the subject of air, and others connected with it, reducing the six volumes to three, which, with his consent, I dedicated to the prince of Wales.
In theology I continued my defences of Unitarianism, until it appeared to myself and my friends that my antagonists produced nothing to which it was of any consequence to reply. But I did not, as I had proposed, publish any address to the bishops, or to the legislature, on the subject. The former I wrote, but did not publish. I left it, however, in the hands of Mr. Belsham when I came to America, that he might dispose of it as he should think proper.