Let me now for a moment advert to that which held me so long in suspense, namely, being instructed from my infancy to believe, “that to doubt of any article of faith taught by the church, would be dangerous to my salvation;” and this, I know, keeps many from following that plain and most necessary direction of the Apostle, “examine yourselves whether ye be in this faith or not; know ye not yourselves, how that Christ Jesus dwelleth in you, except ye be reprobates.” It appeared a most necessary duty for the Apostle to impress on his flock, to examine themselves, to prove and try whether they were now in the faith or not; whether they enjoyed it, or whether they might not be resting in the name, without the power or practice of experimental religion, as taught by him; he knew the name availeth nothing without the spirit of genuine religion, influencing both the heart and life of its professor. May this salutary, and most necessary command be no longer overlooked; and the mere name (which is but the shadow,) be no longer vainly substituted in its stead.
I again had recourse to Scripture, tradition, &c. to be able to defend her doctrines, but in every attempt to do so, I was secretly forced to feel my incapacity to withstand the convincing truths of God’s word. Here the reader may easily imagine what anxiety of mind I felt, on discovering errors in my mother church, so manifest, that all endeavours to gloss them over with far-strained arguments, and make them appear plausible, to individuals even of ordinary capacities, proved ineffectual, and recoiled with double force on my own conscience. Thus, after various perplexities of mind, I communicated my sentiments to a near relative, (now in College) whom I considered more competent in such important matters, whose superior knowledge I presumed would be capable of removing my doubts, without any further exposure of what I then considered so dangerous to entertain.
Oh! what infatuation—the offspring of prejudice was this; how many blessed religious enquiries are thus stifled by bigotry! How preferable was the conduct of the noble Bereans, Acts xvii. 11. who, when they heard Paul and Silas preach to them the Gospel, searched the Scriptures daily whether these things were so, and many of them believed. But the fear of man, a false notion of honour, and a reluctance to forsake a system, though evidently erroneous, and supported by hereditary custom alone, deter many from yielding to conviction. I must say, my friend equally felt the importance of our inquiry; we spent whole days together, comparing the texts of the Douay and Protestant versions; but this proved ineffectual, to support the doctrines I doubted of, and only contributed to increase the anxiety of my mind. The idea of having so many of my relatives connected with the church of Rome from time immemorial, often induced me to imagine my doubts originated in some weakness of mind and want of understanding; it would be endless to describe all the various fluctuations of mind I underwent, and the different means resorted to, to quiet such.
At length, unable to sustain a burdened mind any longer, I went to my Clergyman, the Rev. Mr. M‘Gouran, for whom I had the highest veneration and esteem, stating plainly to him the situation of my mind, and the particular articles of his creed I doubted of; solemnly avowing (which was the case) that I only sought instruction, if I were in error, as I believed I was; for, after reading the Scriptures and a great part of the ancient and modern works on the authenticity of the Roman Catholic Religion, I could find no tenable proofs for these following doctrines, viz. Invocation of Saints, Purgatory, Indulgences, Transubstantiation, Auricular Confession, and the Sacrifice and the Ceremony of the Mass in an unknown tongue, substituted for the Preaching of the pure Gospel; but that, which of all other doctrines shocked and disgusted me most was, the Adoration of the Host, or Wafer, in Masses, Processions, &c. I therefore humbly appealed to him to satisfy me from any part of God’s word on the above articles, declaring to him I wanted only to be convinced of the above doctrines; and if so, I would remain an obedient son of the church during life, or if not, that as my salvation was dearer to me than life, I would separate from his church.—In this the searcher of hearts knows I had nothing in view more than to rest my belief and hope of salvation on Jesus Christ, and to be guided by his doctrines contained in his holy word.
In justice to this Gentleman, I must say he tried every possible means with me, at different times and places, but to no purpose. At length, seeing my uneasiness, and feeling for my situation, he requested me to go to his house, and if he could not succeed in removing my doubts, he would allow me to follow the dictates of my conscience. Accordingly I went repeatedly, and he very patiently heard all my objections to his creed, produced various authorities, chiefly from the Holy Fathers, all inconclusive, and insufficient to maintain the above doctrines. In vain we sought for Scriptural authority from them in any part of the sacred volume; (for such were my convictions, that no inferior or after devised authorities could satisfy my inquiry after truth,) at the same time I asked him, how could I be blamed for separating from him and following the dictates of my conscience? To which he then agreed, and so we parted with the same candour and friendship that ever existed between us, deeply sensible of the favour he had conferred on me, by patiently hearing my objections to the doctrines and practices of his church.
My doubts being now confirmed, the situation of my mind cannot be easily conceived. To follow the dictates of conscience I was fully resolved, God being my helper; yet, I could not but foresee the difficulties that lay before me; my mother a widow, in a great degree dependant on me; my friends and acquaintances who, I knew, did not see or feel as I did, but on the contrary would look on me as mad, and consequently must consider myself as separated from them for life; I felt all this to its utmost extent. I thought on that saying of our blessed Lord, “he that loveth father or mother, or houses or land, more than me, it not worthy of me.” I considered my salvation dearer than all the world beside; with these views and reflections I resolved to commit my cause to him who has said, “cast your burthen on the Lord and he will sustain you,” and leave the event to him, who has also said, “fear not them who kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul, but rather fear him who it able to destroy both soul and body in hell.”
Thus far, having laid before you, candid reader, and my dear fellow-countrymen, whom, at God knows, I love, a true statement of the origin, progress and confirmation of my doubts of the doctrines I objected to in the Church of Rome, together with the various means I had recourse to for instruction and certainty on these matters, till the final interview as above mentioned. After this I little thought of ever hearing the voice of calumny raised against me, and sinister conjectures put on the motives that induced me to act at I did, this being a matter that could be judged only by him who reads the secrets of all hearts. No slanderous insinuations that could be devised against my person, nor fear as to their consequence where I am known, could induce me to take any notices of such on my account; but I feel myself called upon as a duty I owe to my merciful God and his holy truth, and for the sake of others that may be in similar circumstances, to vindicate the propriety of leaving the Church of Rome, a Church whose doctrines I saw could not be supported by divine truth. And many such I know there are on whose minds the light of truth is beginning to dawn, therefore if this humble, unadorned, yet true statement may prove useful to any of those, the object I have in view will be fully attained, and outweigh all the sneering invectives that may be poured on this artless production.
The narrow limits of this small tract do not allow me to dwell as extensively as I wish, en the above controverted points, so I shall only request the seriously inquiring reader to compare all the present doctrines, ceremonies and practices of the Church of Rome with the Gospel, and find out their origin and authenticity in the Scriptures, (to which nothing may be added for ever;) and in the practice of the Primitive Church, before he passes the rash opinion on me, that I then left the Church of Christ, “Judge not that ye be not judged,” is written in holy Scripture. I beseach you read attentively the 2nd and 15th chapters of St. Paul to the Romans, and consider that the Scripture is the rule to direct the Church of Christ, and that no particular Church or people can arrogate and usurp the power of establishing or retaining any thing incongruous with, or contrary to the sacred texts.
Any Church thus counteracting the authority of God’s law, cannot be the Church of Christ, but must be Antichristian, and should be forsaken by all that are willing to take the divine counsel of Christ for their guide to eternal life. Is it not the bounden duty of every rational mind, to prefer the will of God to his own or any other man’s, to discover error and reprobate sin, in whatever shape or form it may appear; let the name and pretensions of any Church be what they may, a mere name is nothing.
Reader, let not your own, nor the will of any man, or party be the model of your life, and actions, but “be ye holy as I am holy, saith the Lord,” and hearken not to the counsel of any man who does not in all things comply with, follow, obey, and practise the law of Jesus Christ. I am afraid that deep-rooted prejudices formed and nurtured by undue influence will prevent many from embracing the plain truths of the Gospel. Every Christian reader must allow that our Lord has done all things necessary for our salvation, and expressly ordered his followers to neither add to, nor diminish from the Gospel. Adding any thing would be superfluous, taking from it, blasphemous. All Christians, and the Council of Trent too, Sess. IV. agree that the holy Scriptures are the fountain of all saving truth and good morals, written by divinely inspired men, under the immediate instructions of our Lord, as St. Augustine and St. Irenæus testify. If this is believed by all, and as they say they believe it, why do some exclaim against them and prohibit their general use, yea, and anathematize any who dare look into their sacred contents? Is it because they know that if the Bible be read, its superior light will dispel all the darkness of superstition, and ignorance? If this volume were not prohibited, in vain would they even by mere sophistry, attempt to build the invocation of Saints, on the message and salutation of the Angel Gabriel, mentioned in the 1st chapter of Luke, 26, and the five following verses. Do they not understand that our Lord did not then begin his mission, which they might easily learn by reading the New Testament. But how can it be expected they would allow a book to be read that the Bishops of Benonia said, “was the cause of all the storms and tempests, that almost ruined the Roman Catholic Church.” I do not wonder that they should prohibit and vilify the reading of that book, which contains all that is sublime in doctrine and holy in tendency—all that is consolatory to the human heart—all that is requisite to make men wise unto salvation—that militates against all doctrines and inventions of men, and the unedifying and unscriptural ceremonies of masses, and prayers in Latin, so contrary to the revealed will of God.—1 Cor. xiv.