"You are a liar from the roots of your hair to your toe-nails. You came to pry into my private life and to take note of my mental stock. You may proceed, sir."
"I haven't time to stay."
"You have a sufficient supply with which to go."
"If you were a lady, I would say prate on."
"If you were a merchant, I would say speak tersely, weigh justly, and keep ever in mind a marble monument.
"If you were a poet I would say tear out and fling to the crowd as much of your heart as you would have the crowd return. If you were a philosopher I would say weaken not your philosophy with wit, nor weigh down your wit with philosophy. Philosophy and wit are good neighbors, but indifferent twins. Since you are a fool, I will simply say all remedies have failed, and you are happy and safe in your ancient calling."
Professor Brandon pulled his mustache a few seconds. He then said: "For your peace of mind, I will go."
Rodney entered with a pitcher of water, and Mary with a big black bottle.
"Have water, professor?" asked Rodney. Here Mary pretended to drink from the bottle. The professor took the pitcher and poured some of the water into the glass into which the ladies had spat some time before. He held it at some distance from him and said: "Woman's tedious, but pure water is wholesome."
"Professor!" roared Rodney's mother.