“Now imagine what I lose by coming back, if God so wills it; a life in a tent, with a cold humid air at night, to which if, from the heat of the tent you expose yourself, you will suffer for it, either in liver or elsewhere. The most ordinary fare. Most ordinary I can assure you; no vegetables, dry biscuits, a few bits of broiled meat, and some dry macaroni, boiled in water and sugar. I forgot some soup; up at dawn and to bed between eight and nine p.m. No books but one, and that not often read for long, for I cannot sit down for a study of those mysteries. All day long, worrying about writing orders, to be obeyed by others in the degree as they are near or distant from me: obliged to think of the veriest trifle, even to the knocking off the white ants from the stores, etc.—that is one’s life; and, speaking materially, for what gain? At the end of two years, say £2,000. At the end of three say £3,500 at the outside. The gain to be called ‘His Excellency,’ and this money. Yet his poor ‘Excellency’ has to slave more than any individual; to pull ropes, to mend this; make a cover to that (just finished a capital cover to the duck Gun). I often say, ‘drop the excellency, and do this instead.’”

Again he writes:—

“This country would soon cure a man of his ambition, I think, and make him content with his lot. The intense heat, and other stagnation except you have some disagreeable incident, would tame the most enthusiastic; a thin, miserable tent under which you sit, with the perspiration pouring off you. A month of this life, and you would be dissatisfied with your lot.”

Gordon had kept up some very interesting correspondence with an old friend in China; an old officer in Gordon’s “Ever victorious Army,” Li Hung Chang. While Gordon is feeling unwell, and disposed to send his resignation to the Khedive—he writes in his journal:—

July 21st, 1879.

“I shall (D.V.) leave for Cairo in ten days, and I hope to see you soon; but I may have to go to Johannis before I go to Cairo. I am a wreck, like the portion of the ‘Victory’ towed into Gibraltar after Trafalgar; but God has enabled me, or rather has used me, to do what I wished to do—that is, break down the slave trade. “Those that honour me I will honour.” May I be ground to dust, if He will glorify Himself in me; but give me a humble heart, for then he dwells there in comfort. I wrote you a letter about my illness and tore it up. Thank God, I am pretty well now, but I have passed the grave once lately, and never thought to see Khartoum. The new Khedive is more civil, but I no longer distress myself with such things. God is the sole ruler, and I try to walk sincerely before Him.”

The letter from Li Hung Chang was to him a source of great satisfaction and pleasure, as it showed his example had affected for good this eastern ambassador, who visited this country only a very few years ago.

The letter ran thus:—

Tientsin,
March 22nd, 1879.

“To His Excellency Colonel C. G. Gordon,
Khartoum, Egypt.

“Dear Sir.—I am instructed by his Excellency the Grand Secretary, Li, to answer your esteemed favour, dated the 27th October, 1878, from Khartoum, which was duly received. I am right glad to hear from you. It is now fourteen years since we parted from each other. Although I have not written to you, I often speak of you, and remember you with very great interest. The benefit you have conferred on China does not appear with your person, but is felt throughout the regions in which you played so important and active a part. All those people bless you for the blessings of peace and prosperity which they now enjoy.

Your achievements in Egypt are well known throughout the civilized world. I see often in the papers of your noble works on the Upper Nile. You are a man of ample resources, with which you suit yourself to any emergency. My hope is that you may long be spared to improve the conditions of the people amongst whom your lot is cast. I am striving hard to advance my people to a higher state of development, and to unite both this and all other nations within the ‘Four seas’ under one common brotherhood.

I wish you all manner of happiness and prosperity. With my highest regards,

I remain,
Yours truly,
Li Hung Chang.”

In all, and through all these various trying vicissitudes he remained true to his innate religious convictions, and looked upon it all as the filling in of a plan, which was divine. His hours for prayer were maintained with as great a regularity as were those of another eastern official servant, Daniel, who “three times a day kneeled on his knees and prayed and gave thanks to God.” Gordon, when at prayer, placed outside his tent a white handkerchief, this was the sign the Governor was at his devotions, and no servant or messenger must disturb him. He kept closely in touch with God, so to speak. His outer life might be ruffled by storms and tempests, but within he had the perfect peace.

While Gordon was hoping to get away from the trying climate and yet more trying circumstances around him, a message (not unexpected) reached him, giving him instructions to proceed to Abyssinia, and see if he could settle the dispute or misunderstanding that had arisen between Johannis the King and the Khedive. He proceeded on that very risky mission as he states in his letters; the journey was “indescribable in its solitary grandeur. These interminable deserts, and arid mountain passes fill the heart with far different thoughts than civilized lands do.” With few attendants, he writes:—“We are still slowly crawling over the world’s crust. Reaching the dominions of the King of Abyssinia, we camped near Ras Alonla, and the priests used to gather at 3 a.m. in knots of two and three and chant for an hour in a wild melodious manner the Psalms of David. Awakened at this unearthly hour no one could help being impressed. Some of them had children who chanted.” Again he writes:—“We have just passed a famous convent. The great high priest, who only comes out to meet the King, and who is supposed to be the King’s