That, John Brown haz halted a fu days for refreshment.
That, moste men had ruther sa a smart thing than tew dew a good one.
That, baksliding iz a big thing, espeshila on ice.
That, a live traitor smells wuss than a ded one.
That, there iz 2 things in this life for which we are never fully prepared, and that iz twins.
That, yu kant judge a man bi hiz religgun eny more than yu kan judge hiz shurt bi the size ov the collar and ristbands.
That, the devil iz alwus prepared tew see kompany.
That, it iz treating a man like a dog tew cut him oph short in hiz narrative.
That, "ignoranse iz bliss," ignoranse of sawing wood, for instanse.
That, menny will fale tew be saved simpla bekause tha haint got ennything tew saive.
That, the vartues ov woman are awl her own, but her frailities hav bin taught her.
That, dry pastors are the best for flocks; flocks ov sheep i mean.
That, men ov genius are like eagles, tha live on what tha kill, while men ov talents are like crows, tha live on what haz bin killed for them.
That, some peoples are fond ov bragging about their ansesstors, and their grate descent, when in fack, their grate descent iz jist what's the matter ov them.
That, a woman kant keep a sekret nor let ennybody else keep one.
That, "a little larning iz a dangerous thing"; this iz az tru az it iz common.
That, sider brandee taken inwardly in large quantitys iz good—for a rat hole.
That, a grate menny folks have bin eddikated oph from their feet.
WAR AND ARMY PHRAZES.
"A suckcessful Rade,"—cutting oph a turnpike within the enama's lines, and bringing in a blind mule, and 2 niggers tu board.
"Reserv'd Korps,"—this i take it means our ophisers; who die at the tavern stands, and are stuffed, and cent home tu berry.
"Bace of supplize,"—Unkle Samuel's pocket-Book.
"Pickitts,"—these are surplus chaps, who ar cent out tu borry turbacker, and to see if the kussed rebels hav got enny pass.
"An Armstise,"—giving the enema tu chances tu git licked instead ov one.
"Militara Stratergee,"—trying to reduse a swamp by ketching the bilyus fever out ov it.
"Lite Hoss Calvary,"—picked men who ride the hosses tu drink, when tha git thin.
"Rekrutin Ophisers,"—individuals who are cent into the rural destriks, on a furlong, to rekrute—themselfs.
"Armee Rashuns,"—back pay, and preserved beef!
"Quartring on the enemee,"—this phraze is defunkted, bekaze its contraree tu Hoyle.
"War Hoops,"—jist the things fur a hot da, the injuns used tu hav them.
"Corte Marshall,"—where tha tri the misdemeners out ov an ophiser, so that he'll du to promoat.
"Forage Partee,"—Them who goes out to kech a hastack, and gits lost in a forage ov treeze and haint been herd from sinse.
"On tu Richmond,"—that's tu sa if the kussed rebels will allow it.
"Parralel lines,"—are them kind of lines that never cum together.
"Militara necessita,"—ten ophisers and a gallon ov whiski to every three privates.
"Onluce the dogs ov war;"—but muzzle the darn kritters; if you don't, somebody will get hurt.
"War of Exterminashun,"—this fraze belongs holey tu the Kommissara Department.
"Advance Gard,"—this is a gard tha hav tu hav in our army tu keep our fellers from pichin in tu the enema frontwards.
"Rere Gard,"—this is a gard that hav tu keep our fellers, when tha are surrounded from pitching intu the enema backwards.
"Awl quiet on the Potermuck,"—this shows what perfect subjekshun our fellers are under.
PASHUNCE OV JOB.