CLEVER FELLOWS.
It is perfectly astounding how full ov clever fellows the world iz. Yu kan find them almost ennywhere, on the korner ov the streets, reddy tew say, "mi dear fellow how are yu?" and adjourn at onst tew the hotell and take a drink with yu. Yu can find them in the churches, reddy tew slap yu on the back and take yure meazure for a front pew, next tew the Hon. Hannibal Herring Hallibut, Esq., at the lucid figger ov $450 Dollars per year, and a liberal chanse at the contribushun plate, twice evry Sunda. Yu kan find them in the lucky possession ov a blood bay pair ov geldings sired by Casshus M. Klay, and jist refused tu the widder ov a defunk sope biler, at $2700 dollars, but tew yu! confidensially! tew yu!! tha will be placed at $2000. Yu kan find them in nominashun for congress, bland, fond, and peculiar, kneeling tew acksep yure sufrage as limber az a lover, ov the milk weed genus, at the balmorell ov a $30,000 Dollars maiden.—Yu can find them reddy tew indorse yure paper, yesterday, for awl the munny in the institushun. Good Lord! Good Lord! how thick tha are. I alwus treat theze fellers kindly, jist az tho i loved them, but i alwus stand in frunt ov them, az i do when i admire a mule. I dont think tha hav az mutch malis az impudense, and sum ov them are so innersent, that i really beleaf tha think tha are honest. I dont think the wurld could git along without theze clever feller, tha ar jist what keep truth above par, and furnish the romanse ov life with a continual freshness. I sa, long live theze clever fellers! and when tha die, if tha kan manage tew wiggle themselves into the better land, i am the last man who will desire to step on their tales.
AFFERISIMS.
God save the phools! and don't let them run out, for if it want for them, wise men couldn't get a livin.
Sum peoples branes are located in their heds.
We are told "that there want ennything maid in vain," but i hav thought that awl the time spent in manufakturing striped snaix, and muskeeters, waz wasted.
If thare waz nothing but truth in this wurld, a fool would stand just as good a chanse az a wize man.
True perlitenes consists in being anxus about the welfair ov uthers; false perliteness consists in being verry anxus about nothing.
Robbers are like rain, tha fall on the just, and the unjust.
If a man iz az wize az a sarpent, he can afford to be as harmless as a dove.
We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advise, and despize them who do.
It iz dredful eazy tew be a phool—a man kan be one and not know it.
Real happiness dont consiss so mutch in what a man dont hav, az it duz, in what he dont want.
Fear iz the fust lesson larnt, and the laste one forgotten.
Noboddy but a phool, gits bit twise bi the same dog.