The hosses both cum up tew the skore in the immejiate visinity ov each uther, and got the wurd tew go, the fust time. The gra mare waz druv bi "Dave Larkin," and the hoss was handled bi "Ligh Turner." Tha trotted sublimely, az clus az the Siamese twins; the mare with her hed hi up and her noze full ov winde; the hoss waz stretched out tite, like a chalk line; tha passed the haf mile pole simultaneously, time, 2 minnits. Now the kontost becum exsiting, "Dave" hollered, and "Ligh" yelled—on tha kum, the mare gru higher, and the hoss gru longer—tha make the last turn tew onst—tha look like a dubble team—the exsitement grows more intensely—the crowd sways to and fro—the ox cart trembles—tha cum! tha cum! sich shouting, sich yelling, sich swearing, sich chawing terbacker, waz never herd before; the mare iz ahed!—no, the hoss iz ahed! 'tis even, 'tis a ded hete, tha pass the ox-kart—the hoss wins bi 3 quarters ov an inch, time 4 minnits lacking 2 seckunds.
REMARKS.
The bosses ar surrounded bi a crowd ov men, wimmin, and children. Each party are sanguinary ov suckces. The bettin iz 2 quarts ov whiskee to anything, on the red hoss. At this junktare the gentleman, reporter for the Young Man's Christian Gide, propozed tew bet 75 cents that the mare wud win the nex heat; i tuk the proposishun forthwithly, and the steaks, bi mutual consent, was placed in mi hat and sot under the kart, and here let me stait, before i forget it, that i haint saw the steaks nor the hat sinse.
SECKUND HEAT.
The hosses both sho signs ov distress. The gra mare's ears hang down the side ov her hed, like two wet rags, and the hoss rests his tale on the ground. Tha go slola bak tew the distanse pole, and cum up agin tew the skore, az tho tha waz yoked together. Awa tha go; the hoss a leetle ahed. The hoss leads tew the haf mild pole in 2:30. On the bak stretch, "Dave" went at the mare with hiz long purswader; she trots like litening, she passes the hoss! no! she busts! she busts! and befour "Dave" cud flatten her down tew her work, she broke from the trak and trotted clean up tew her hips in the krambery mash. The hoss cum in awl alone, trotting fast, and so clus down, that 2 feet ov his tale dragged on the ground. Time ov this heat, not fur from 5 minnits. "Juise Harp" winning, bi a quarter ov a mild. Thus ended the grate rase at "Sulphur Flats." I immejiately started on foot for "Jamaka Rum four corners," bare headed, but fully impressed that, tho men, and even whiskee mite deteryoate, the breed ov hosses must begin tew improve in that seckshun ov the kuntry in a fu dais.
'GIV THE DEVIL HIZ DUE.'
This iz good advise. I don't kno who waz the auther ov it, if I did, i wud go for rewarding him, either with a sett ov plated ware, or a prize in the art union. No man kould giv better advise, or consolashun; he ought tew hav a 2 story monament, when he dize, with an epitaff on it, founded on fack; he ought tew hav at leaste fifteen hundred little children named after him each year; he ought tew be nussed in men's memorys like a plesant dreme, that afterwards turned out tew be true. He ought to hav his fotograph taken bi evry new sky-lite in the land, he ought tew be sett tew musick, and be sung in conneckshun with the docksaloger; he ought tew be stereotyped, so that nu edishuns could constantly be worked oph tew meet the pressing demand.