ANSWER TO CONTRIBUTORS.
Amerikus.—Your contribushun is in hand. We like its fluidness. It is like ile on a side hill. Natur haz did a good thing for yu, and yu ought tew be willing tew dew a good thing for natur. This line in your produkshun strikes us as very butiful and original; "And larn the luxury of dewing good." Gold smith hisself mite hav bin proud ov sich a line. And again; "Oh would sum power the gifty giv us, ov seeing oursels as uthers cee us;" yure idee ov indroducing the skotch acksent into yure stile, is verry happee. If yu never hav red Robert Burns, yu will be suprised to larn that his style verry mutch resembles yures. Onse more yu sa; "If ignoranse is bliss, tis folly tew be wise." This sentiment is jist as tru as tis common. Pope, I think, has sumthing similar; but awl grate minds sometimes express theirselfs alike. Yure contribushun will appear in our nex issu, with a wood cut piktur ov a saw buck at the top ov it.
Beta—I think sumly as yu do, "this wurld is all a fleetin cirkus, for man's illushun given," but that aint no rezon for not pitching in and being illusioned onse in a while. I wouldn't giv a cent for a man who hadn't bin illusioned, and who didn't expect tew be several times again.
Mathew.—I see bi yure letter that yu hav determined tew studdy ministry. Yu sa yu hav doubts about yure talents being enuffly tew make a minister; i don't think that ought tew bluff yu oph, for i hav saw menny men ov almity mean tallents, who got tew be first rate ministers.
Philander.—Yu ask me which iz the most best, the marrid or the single condishun?—Most evry boddy, at sum time in their life, has tried the single state; also, moste evry boddy haz hankered after the double state, or married condishun. I hav tried both states, and am reddy to sware, that if a man kan git a woman who kan fri pancakes on both sides without burning them, and dont hanker tew be a wimmin's kommitty, the marrid state iz a heaven and arth, awl tew onst. But after awl the married state is a good deal like falling out ov a cherry tree, if a person don't happen tew git hurt, it is a good reason for not trieing it agin.
REMARKS.
It is highly important, when a man makes up his minde tew bekum a raskall, that he shud examine hisself clusly, and see if he aint better konstructed for a phool.
I argy in this way, if a man is right he cant be too radikal, if he is rong he kant be too conservatiff.
"Tell the truth, and shame the Devil;" i kno lots ov people, who can shame the devil easy enuff but the tother thing bothers them.
If yu don't beleaf in "total depravity," buy a quart ov gin and studdy it.
Their is one advantage in a plurality ov wifes; tha fite each other, insted ov their hustbands.
It is a verry delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimashun, and yures too.
As a gineral thing, when a woman wares the britches, she has a good rite tew them.
I am poor, and I am glad that i am, for i find that wealth makes more people mean, than it duz generous.
Woman's inflooense is powerful—espeshila when she wants enny thing.
No man luvs tu git beat, but it is better tew git beat than tew be rong.
Awl kind ov bores are a nuisance, but it is better tew be bored with a 2 inch auger, than a gimblet.
"Be sure yu are rite then go ahed;" but in kase ov doubt go ahed enny wa.
Sekts and creeds ov religion, are like pocket compesses, good enuff tu pinte out the direction, but the nearer the pole yu git the wuss tha wurk.
The rode tew Ruin, is alwus kept in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense ov it.
If a man begins life bi being fust Lutenant in his familee, he never need to look for promoshun.
I hav got as much munny as sum folks, but i hav got as much impudence as enny ov them, and that is the next thing tew munny.
It aint often that a man's reputashun outlasts his munny.
Dont mistake arroganse for wisdum; menny people hav thought tha was wise, when tha was onla windy.
The man who kant git ahed, without pulling others back, iz a limited cuss.
Woman will sumtimes confess her sins, but i never knu one tu confess her faults.
Thare is onla one advantage, that i kan see, in going tew the Devil, and that is, the rode is easy, and yu are sure tew git thare.
Lastly—i am violently opposed tu arden speerits as a bevridge, but for manufaktering purposes, i think a leetle of it tastes good.