"Bee yee as wize as a sarpint, and as harmlis as a duve," and then if a feller cums a fooling around yure duve, yu kan set yure sarpint at him.
Rize arly, work hard, and late, live on what yu kant sell, giv nothing awa, and if yu dont die ritch, and go tu the devil, yu ma sue me for damages.
Marrin for love ma be a little risky, but it is so honest, that God kant help but smile on it.
There is one thing I kant never forgit nor I hain tried to, and that is, the fust time I kissed a gal.
If I was asked, "what is the chief end of man now a daze," I should immegiatly repli, "10 per cent."
Yu may argy a bull Tarrier out ov a bone, but yu kant argy a woman out ov her will.
Mi advise tu them who are about tu begin, in arnest, the jurney ov life, is tu take their harte in one hand and a club in the other.
The biggest glutton I ever herd tell ov, was the feller out in Indianny, who eat a pair ov twin lams for brekfast, and then chased the ole yew three miles and a haf.
The peacock has one ov the most butifullest tails in the world, but i tak notis he dont drag it on the ground when he walks out.