"Whip."—Yu are rite. Mules live tu a long age, iv'e known them miself, tu live 100 years, and not half tri. Yu are rite also, about their being sure footed, iv'e known them tu kick a man, twise in a sekund, 10 feet oph.
"Gertrude."—Yure inquiry stumps me, the darndest. The more i think on it, the more i kant tell. Az near az i kan rekolek now, i think i dont kno. Much mite be ced both ways, and neether wa be rite. Upon the whole i rather reckon i wud, or i wuddent, jist az i thought best, or otherwise.
"Plutark."—Yu'are mistaken, the Shakers dont marry. If young Shakers fall in luv tha are sot tu weeding onions, and that kures them forthwithly. I kant tell yu now, how much it dus kost tu jine the Shakers but i beleave the expenze used tu be, inkluding having yure hair cut and larning how tu danse, about $65,00. I disreckoleckt what their religun iz, but if mi memry sarves me rite, it iz making almitey good brooms, and sellin devilish poor grape cuttings, for 75 cents a foot.
"Sportsman."—Yure inquiry iz not edzackly in mi line, but i haste tu repli, as follers, to wit: The rite length tu cut oph a dog's tale haz never yet bin fully diskovered, but iz undoubtedly somewhare bak ov hiz ears, provided yu git the dog's consent. N. B.—It aint absolutely necessara the dog's consent should be in riteing.
"Kate."—I think Lord Biron waz the author ov the lines yu speke ov; 'twas either him or 'twas Captain Kid, one or tother. Biron waz dredful limber at riteing potri, so waz Kidd, but Biron waz the limberest.
A TABLOWS IN 4 ACKS