Josh Billings.
XLVI.
SUM ADVISE.
Mi yung friend, yu are about tew begin life, and altho it may seem dredful impossibel tew yu, nevertheless yu will be liabel tew make sum mistakes while yu are scoring, or during the fust mile or two.
Let me mix up a little advise for yu tew take till yu git tew trotting stiddy.
Yu will observe the advise iz designed for yung gentlemen who show sum sighns ov speed, and also that i reazon right from the shoulder.
1. Treat the old man and the old woman as yure equals; smile when they exhort, and laff when they intreat, for no yung man kan hope for suckcess in ornamental walks ov life who don't wear the belt at home.
2. If yu kant raize a mustash, commit suiside at once and begin agin; for it iz better tew die than tew suffer disgrace.
3. Cultivate impudense—impudense iz a good substitute for bravery—only be a littel kerful tew pick yure customers when yu tri it on.